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Blog / News
On The Road Again
June 24, 2021
“She made $100,000 in just ONE month?” “Just one month. But it’s her first month on only fans, so she probably won’t make as much the following months.” “Jesus Christ. And to think I’ve been masturbating for free all these years. $100,000. Man.” “There’s got to be something a little fucked up about you if
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K.I.S.S.
June 19, 2021
I’m unsure where the saying came from or how far back it goes. But it lingers and is repeatedly spoken because of how true it is. Keep it simple, stupid. I might as well get it tattooed on me as a reminder. Most recently, my manager said this about my script. As I tend to
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Indoor Surfing
June 15, 2021
Surfers are basically crack heads for waves. Just as a stage and a hot crowd is heroin for comedians. Somewhere in my social media the Skudin Surf Park in New Jersey came up. I had always wanted to try a wave pool. A perfect wave? Over and over? Guaranteed conditions? I didn’t realize the American
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Way Too Much Butter
June 7, 2021
I took a small chunk of money and invested in some stocks. Not an impressive amount, mind you. Nor do I plan to sit on them for ten years. Maybe a year or so. With hopes that I’ll make some sort of a profit, maybe I could go on a vacation. Mostly I invested in
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Gnome Doors
May 26, 2021
“I was really high one night and ordered gnome doors. So I’m gonna put gnome doors in the park.” “Wait, what are you saying?” Katrina, Mike and I are in a dive bar chatting over drinks. “Gnome doors.” “Known door?” “No, gnome doors. Like little doors. Fairy doors. They’re like the size of your hand.”
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Not Quite Young
May 17, 2021
No year aged me more than 2020. I suspect many people feel the same way. For fucks sake, I even almost look my age now! Even when I was a scrawny teenager, I was under the impression my 30s would be my prime, not my 20s. I’m not even entirely sure why I felt this
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Adventure Pack
May 11, 2021
I don’t even own a single pocketbook. Not one. I only have small backpacks and a couple of wristlets. In fact, the handbag craze with women is completely lost on me. Usually if a woman brags about the price tag on her bag I think she is probably not that smart and likely not capable
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Missing Drone
May 9, 2021
I stood on the street examining a sign for a missing drone, you know, with a reward and all like one would post for a missing pet. We didn’t have many pets growing up, so never in my life would I know the stinging fear of a pet gone MIA (save for our turtle who
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Books I Think About All The Time
May 6, 2021
When I was a kid, I went back and forth with reading as far as loving it/not caring for it. I remember learning to read being somewhat of a struggle and it was thought I might have had dyslexia like my brother and dad. After being tested for it, they said my reading comprehension was
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Their loss.
April 21, 2021
Their loss. Close friends and family say. That’s what they say when a writing job opportunity is lost. Or when I’m rejected in love. Their loss. How I want to believe them. And I don’t doubt that they mean it. That if I wasn’t in their lives they would feel the loss. Or that they
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