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Blog / News
Dear Late Night Me
April 13, 2021
Dear Late Night Me, Having another insomnia spat, are we? Infuriating, isn’t it? How you could pass out in a matter of minutes at any random point of the day and now that you’re snuggled on your perfect mattress, all cozy and warm, you can’t sleep. Do you reach for the sleeping pills yet? The
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Blaise of Glory
April 8, 2021
Dearest Blaise, First born son of my brother. Heir to the arm that shook the world. Future surf legend. Nephew of famed writer, Lori Palminteri (okay, probably not famed but at least relatively successful by the time you’re of age to read this). I will never forget the day you were born. Partly because your
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peep wars
March 27, 2021
I liked Palm Sunday. Because my family went to church every Sunday until I was 16. A lot of good it did me (it turned me into a heathen). But Palm Sunday I liked, not really for religious reasons, rather because when you walked into church they gave you palms which people made into crosses.
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A Bony Ass In The Middle Seat
March 25, 2021
“You sit in the middle.” “Ah, c’mon! I always have to sit in the middle. It isn’t fair!” An adolescent Lori voiced her woes. “You’re the smallest. No one else fits.” “It’s not fair,” I pouted. Once again, whether in my family’s car or with friends, my assigned seat was the most uncomfortable seat in
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But Have You Ever Been In Love With A Rollercoaster?
March 16, 2021
Often, I lament how much I need to get my shit together in virtually every part of my life. With my career, dating life, financially stability, mental stability, the fact that I haven’t even found a buried treasure yet. And then I read news articles about people who sneak into their neighbor’s yards to fuck
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Romance
March 14, 2021
It isn’t so surprising that Pepe Le Pew was ‘canceled’ considering his actions were questionable, at best. But this is a cartoon. And it’s kind of cartoons’ ‘thing’ to exercise ghoulish overkill. Additionally, I’m willing to bet all the money I have (it’s not an impressive amount, admittedly) that no one watched this cartoon and
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Legacy
March 5, 2021
Long before she was pregnant, Mitch said she’d be a great mom. From where I’m standing, Mitch always wanted kids. I always knew he’d be a dad someday. Then came a call in the middle of a summer night. I was awake, stoned and watching television. If I were to guess, he wasn’t sober when
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Pleasure Spiked With Pain
March 2, 2021
One note from the song she wrote Could fuck me where I lay — ‘Aeroplane,’ Red Hot Chili Peppers There I was, sitting in a pain management office across from my doctor, reliving the moments of the accident… again. I walked away from the accident with a souvenir— three herniated discs in my neck. The
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Slim and Chunky
February 21, 2021
Let’s face it. Kids aren’t exactly the most creative when it comes to naming pets or stuffed animals. For example, my nephew named his plush stegosaurus “Bumpy” and when we were in Florida together and found this malnourished little lizard that hung out in my parent’s lanai, he called him “Runny” because he ran fast.
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Can I Smell Your Baby?
February 6, 2021
New born babies have some magical powers. They legitimately release pheromones from the top of their head to make you love them. This sneaky trick you and I did as well when we were mere days old, unaware of what we were, yet alone what we were doing. The pheromones create strong bonds especially between
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