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Blog / News
Ginger, You Bitch
November 22, 2020
In the last nine months, I have made an enemy. An arch nemesis if you will. A cold killer. Reptile eyes and a monster… Ginger. Who is Ginger, you ask? Great question. We’ve never met. In fact, I’ve never even spoken with her. She is my chief rival on Words with Friends. We are both
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Large Gatherings
November 20, 2020
Generally speaking, I hate large gatherings. Even in my younger years when I lived for getting drunk at bars, I didn’t like crowded or loud bars. There is good reason my friends nicknamed me “old man.” For one thing, can we stop it with parades? No more parades. It’s over. They’re overrated. In days before
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A Spirit Animal & Karate
November 16, 2020
A few weeks ago, I went for a jog between working for my two jobs along the water on the East River in Astoria. Music was blasting in my headphones, getting my groove on, feeling productive. Then, I was literally stopped in my tracks… right there, perched on the railing, was a Hawk! “Holy shit,”
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The Lost List Of People Who Should Not Vote
November 4, 2020
Look, it’s not going to be a popular opinion, but I don’t think everyone should vote. Why? Because most people are idiots. Ask the average person what each branch of government actually does and they don’t know. I’m also a half an idiot and never know the people on the ballot for local government and
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8 Days A Week
October 26, 2020
In what is a much needed win of 2020, I am proud to say I have landed a full time writing gig. Rejoice! It’s for a radio network I’ve been freelancer for for a couple years in their comedy department writing comedy bits. I had hoped that one of my freelancing jobs would lead to
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I Miss Her
October 19, 2020
I spent this past weekend with my sister and her two little ones, Anthony (6) and Charlotte (2.5) as we adventured to Hershey Park. It concerned me a little, only because Charlotte is at that age where she loves to lick railings and such. Caring for children is basically just trying to keep a tiny
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Nothing To Worry About
October 14, 2020
During the day, it was easy to distract myself. But then the nighttime came, and the bad thoughts that hid behind the furniture crept in. They were always there. But it wasn’t so easy to ignore them at night. “It’s probably nothing to be concerned about,” I kept telling myself. Indeed, I’d find this to
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Make A Noise
October 6, 2020
In the six and a half years I’ve been an Astoria resident, I’ve had little to no interactions with my neighbors. It is a rule of mine that you want your neighbors to think you’re just weird enough that they don’t want to befriend you, but not too weird that they are suspicious of you.
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A Girl And Her Droid
October 1, 2020
I hadn’t realized we had been together almost nine years. This is almost as long as I’ve been doing comedy. We were together even longer than my first vehicle (oh, Bessy Lou! How I miss you too!). I didn’t realize that the former blog would be the last blog I’d write on that machine. Though
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The Amazing Emily
September 24, 2020
Emily George, at 91 years old, contracted COVID-19 in September 2020, after mostly being locked down in an assisted living home in Florida since March 2020. But that’s not so strange, given the circumstances. What is strange, and somewhat miraculous, is she didn’t come down with a single symptom. Emily George, mother of six children,
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