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Blog / News
Kidnapping & Beds
November 25, 2019
I know that title sounds dirty, if not disturbing. This won’t be (well… maybe a little? I don’t know I can’t tell what people find disturbing anymore). However, if something is especially dark (or especially sexual), I usually caution my family not to read, which, of course, they don’t listen and then tell me I
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Going To School Like This
November 18, 2019
In the continuing tales of my youth, comes a memory of laughing in the face of dread. While I was a good student, I didn’t much care for going to school. Often, at the end of summer vacations, I sobbed (quietly, as you’d be mocked for crying) in my bed clutching a stuffed baby seal
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E.C.M.
November 11, 2019
One of the questions often asked in therapy is what is your earliest childhood memory. Now, the memory is not such a reliable thing. All of our memories are tailored and twisted. Almost none of our memories are 100% how anything happened. Ask any cop how reliable eye witness testimony is (spoiler alert: terrible). So
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I Love Lamp
November 5, 2019
You may or may not recall some weeks ago I published a blog called, “I May Need Your Help.” This was a literal cry for help, but not in a desperate, dire nor even cry for attention. In fact, (as strange as this may seem) I try to water down some of my more depressive
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Your Apocalypse Tour Guide, Palminteri
October 27, 2019
You’re running. Running. Through a field. But you can’t remember where you are. Where you came from. What you’re running away from. You know nothing about the now, except for a message on your arm. A bloody message, scratched into your left forearm that says, “DON’T STOP. KEEP RUNNING.” It stings. You wished you remembered
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You Look Like You Want To Say Something
October 21, 2019
There are few things that impress me more about a human than an extensive vocabulary. Though I wouldn’t consider myself a full sapiosexual (not that I consider myself fully anything), no matter how attractive you are physically or kind you are, my interest in a person (in general, as a mentor, a peer, a friend,
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Wet Wetsuit
October 15, 2019
“ARE YOU LEAVING SOON?” A woman says with poor attitude, middle aged, on the plump side who’s been stopped in front of my parking spot in a small parking lot in Long Beach where I am taking off my wetsuit. This was spring time when the air was warming up but the water was still
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13 Things You Never Knew About Lori Palminteri (And Probably Don’t Want To)
October 8, 2019
Who is Lori Palminteri? You probably sit around wondering this (you probably don’t, unless you’re a psycho). Is she merely an introverted, sorely underrated comedian? An adrenaline seeking misfit? A socially awkward misanthrope with extraterrestrial blood running through her veins? It’s anyone’s guess. The young(ish) writer often bares raw truth in her comedy and writings,
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I May Need Your Help
September 29, 2019
I may need your help. Perhaps you, reading this right now. If you want to. Even if you do, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll let you. You may be family, a long time friend, someone who knew me before I am whatever I am today. Or a more recent addition to my life. A fellow comedian,
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Come Find Me, The Future & The Vortex To Get You There
September 24, 2019
I. Charlotte Charlotte. It’s too hard a name for my niece to pronounce, but now that she’s got down “wori” she loves to say it, over and over. And I love hearing it, over and over. When my sister was pregnant and told me she was naming her baby girl “Charlotte” it was a weird
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