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Blog / News
Dear Old Friend
September 28, 2015
I remember where we left off. It was the end of the semester. The year was 2008. We said goodbye, and acted as though we’d stay in touch, though we both knew we wouldn’t, even if we wanted to. After a year of college, I made exactly zero friends. You were probably the closest I
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Cut Locks
September 21, 2015
It happened on a Sunday. During the (awful) Giant game versus the Cowboys. I was at a friends watching the game, who lives not far from me in Astoria. I rode my bike, and locked her to a pole, as I did many times, all over Queens and sometimes Brooklyn and Manhattan, for the year
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Poker Face
September 13, 2015
I’m a shitty poker player. Every time I’ve played poker, I do really well at the start, but after about an hour, I get bored. The stakes aren’t high enough. My $20 contribution to win $100 doesn’t phase me. So, I start making outrageous bets and moves. I’ll bet half my chips on a mediocre
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The Fattest Fruit Fly
September 7, 2015
The fattest fruit fly lives in an apartment in Astoria, Queens. My apartment in Astoria, Queens. The fattest fruit fly lived for weeks, and while I had once thought they only lived for 24 hours, the Internet told me they could live longer than 24 days! I thought it was impossible. Not only for a
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Pease Lane
August 30, 2015
Probably one of the worst named streets around, Pease Lane was my home for nearly 25 years. It’s where I learned how to walk, swim, ride a bike. It’s where I did my homework everyday after school. It’s where my brother and sister and I made up games, and where we fought. It’s where my
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What They Don’t Teach You In School
August 25, 2015
What they don’t teach you in school is that you will use next to nothing you learned at a desk post graduation. They don’t teach you how to get a job, what to say on interviews, or how to lie on your resume. What they don’t teach you in school is how to deal with
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M.T. Pockets
August 16, 2015
Not unlike many summer days from that time in my life, we were grilling burgers at Atlantique beach, Fire Island. Running around in the sun all day, playing games and swimming, gave us kids quite an appetite, and we waited impatiently for our grilled meat, chomping down on some corn on the cob, and shoving
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Tuesday Into Wednesday
August 9, 2015
Technically, it was Wednesday morning. 1 am. I waited for my train at Times Square to Queens. Sure I had to be up again in six hours, but I had a buzz, and Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, so I felt alright. It was the best I’d felt all day. I had been feeling pretty
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Smile Like You Mean It
August 3, 2015
I’ve been coming home late, more than ready for bed, only to find my door has been blocked by a large, intricate, and quite impressive spider web. The spider sits in the middle with a confidence that is both annoying and admirable. It’s a good spot, for sure. The light outside the building is the
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Funny Females
July 25, 2015
Probably one of the most annoying things about being a female in comedy, is after shows, people (usually women) will come up to me and say, “you were so funny, and I don’t think female comics are funny.” Besides wanting to punch them in the face, I’d like to suggest female comics they’ve likely never
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