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Blog / News
I Am Superman, And I Can’t Do Anything
June 1, 2014
Years from now, I will be diagnosed with some sort of personality disorder. Schizoid, or something. A mild form of aspergers. Years from now, I will stop self medicating, and start getting medicine from a doctor. Anti-depressants. Anti-anxiety. Something for this, and something for that. Years from now, I will forgive myself for not being
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Fairy Tale Wedding
May 27, 2014
Is there a better way to celebrate a marriage by getting so shit faced drunk that you can’t feel the blisters developing on your feet from uncomfortable hells? I think not. Despite my general aversion to the institution of marriage, I more than approve of my cousin and her new husband’s elopement. The reason they
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Donate Blood, Save My Life
May 19, 2014
I hate needles. It’s the main reason I don’t have any tattoos or never tried heroin. I don’t know what it is that makes me dizzy from the very sight of a needle. I don’t like to look at them, think about them, even writing this very blog about needles is making me cringe. It
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When In Doubt, Go Out
May 11, 2014
(Mitch is the pretty one) We spent our summers at Atlantique beach, Fire Island. Our skin tanned from hours in the sun, often forgetting to reapply sunblock. Or more likely, that we didn’t care to. We hadn’t a care in the world. It was summer vacation, and as far as we were concerned, summers were
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The Jury & The Judge
May 6, 2014
It actually annoys me when people say “you shouldn’t judge people,” or, worse, if a person claims they don’t judge people. This is purely idiotic. Of course we judge people. And we should. It’s pure primal instinct. Fight or flight. You need to assess every situation and person you encounter. If you did not judge
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Honest Living
April 26, 2014
In one month, I debut the first pilot I’ve produced since college, Honest Living. I couldn’t have done it without my hilarious co-stars, Dennis Rooney and Tim Thompson. And, of course, our director John Trueson, who not only a great at directing, but also the best person to calm me down when I act all
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Waiting for my Squirrel
April 20, 2014
“Artist,” has become a word I don’t really care for. Because “artist” has a negative connatation. It’s a word that makes parents’ cringe when their child in college uses it to describe themselves. Because for every “successful” “artist” we know, there seems to be way more “artists” living with their parents way longer than they
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The Stork
April 13, 2014
The Stork by Lori Palminteri (Fiction) Two drunks sit at a bar… “What would you do if you found a baby on your stoop?” “I don’t understand the question.” “Like if you walked out your front door and there was a baby, in a basket, right there… on your stoop.” “Why would someone leave a
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Home
April 12, 2014
When I was in first grade, I begged my mom not to make me to go school everyday. I just wanted to stay home with her. She, of course, told me I had to go. I didn’t really give her a hard time after I asked once or twice. She would walk me to the
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Lori’s Guide to Online Dating
March 30, 2014
Yup. I caved. I joined the world of online dating. As per my recent move to New York City (and my more recent move to Queens), I realized that all my friends in the city were comics. I love comics. 90% of the time, all I want to do is hang out with comics.
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