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Tsunami
Mar 24, 2025
If You Give A Lori A Martini
Mar 17, 2025
In Defense of Nepotism
Mar 7, 2025
I "Mustache" You A History Question
Mar 3, 2025
Lasers. Libertarians. Lesbians.
Feb 26, 2025
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Tsunami
March 24, 2025
Before the giant rolling wave of a tsunami hits, the ocean will first rapidly recede unusually far from the shore– sucking up water for large and fast waves. If you ever see the ocean do this, turn and run. Run as fast as you can to high ground. I didn’t have such a warning when
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If You Give A Lori A Martini
March 17, 2025
If you give a Lori a Martini at the Lounge Bar in the Casino at the Borgata after her show, she’s going to ask for it extra dirty. When you give her the extra dirty martini, she’ll probably nibble on the olives. When she’s nibbled on the olives, she’ll become more thirsty and and drink
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In Defense of Nepotism
March 7, 2025
In keeping with tradition of arguing for the unpopular opinion and/or being a true neutral, making majorities annoyed with me, I’d like to defend nepotism. Between Hollywood or Washington, or even some shitty small company you work for, chances are, someone who’s related to a big shot has better treatment and a far better chance
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I “Mustache” You A History Question
March 3, 2025
Recently, I was doing a gig in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and since I was coming from another place in Pennsylvania, I was without a hotel and had ample time to kill. Much of Pennsylvania is rather boring, and sometimes even feels like you went through a time portal and are no longer in the 2020s. And
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Lasers. Libertarians. Lesbians.
February 26, 2025
I bought an at-home laser hair removal device off Amazon that cost me roughly a hundred dollars and had good reviews. Mostly, I got it for my underarms because I get a perpetual ingrown hair in my right arm pit that I have to pull out with tweezers. That’s really, really sexy, I know. You
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Five Silver Rings
February 14, 2025
For as long as I live, the phrase “five golden rings,” like from the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas” will remind me of my grandpa Vincent Palminteri. Growing up, it was tradition for my dad’s side of the family, a large Catholic Italian family, to gather on Christmas Eve. There are many musicians in
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Cheap Date
February 5, 2025
Admittedly, I’d become a serial dater in the month of January, year 2025. I had recently taken a break from online dating apps, but I was back with force. Of course, ultimately, I’m looking to fall in love, but I’m a cynic and I approach dating with a wry eye. Additionally, I have desires and
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An Uncomfortable Conversation About Suicide
January 29, 2025
“When people commit suicide, no one ever understands. You know what I mean? People commit suicide and people go ‘I don’t understand why.’ and I go, ‘You don’t?’ What, do you live in a cotton-candy house or something? What the fuck? You don’t know about life? How it only disappoints and gets worse and worse
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PhilaLori Punk (Sideline Reporter)
January 19, 2025
Anyone who knows me well, knows, I am a giant fan of Diane Morgan’s satirist documentarian, Philomema Cunk. If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor, and go watch on Netflix series, “Cunk on Earth” and now, the new “Cunk on Life.” In character, Morgan plays a supremely bored and ignorant documentarian interviewing real experts,
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Wave to Jesus
January 13, 2025
The traffic in Hawaii is atrocious. Honolulu or North Shore traffic made me yearn to be in New York traffic. That’s how bad it is. At least New York traffic moves. Hawaii rush hour is probably the worst part about Hawaii. Unlike New York, though, people are much nicer. The other drivers let you merge.
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