Uber Princess

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• April 28, 2025

After doing my taxes (to be fair, I just put together receipts and my sister does my actual taxes), I really tally up where all my money is going and it’s no wonder I’m perpetually broke. Nothing is really more shocking to me than the fact that last year (2024) I spent $4000 on Ubers. Yes. $4000.

To be clear, I both own a car and take subways. But still. I manage to spend $4000 on personal rides. Who the fuck do I think I am? The goddamn duchess?

It is quite easy to justify Uber in New York City. Especially as a woman who is often out late. There comes a point late at night, especially depending on what neighborhood I’m in, that it becomes easy for me to summon an Uber home for safety reasons, and not just purely lazy reasons. And to be fair, some of it IS laziness or drunkenness. But also, as female who weighs roughly 120lbs, even though I usually do carry a weapon, subways are can be sketchy any time of the day, but especially late at night. Like any New Yorker, I’ve seen my fair share of crack heads, exposed penises, uncomfortable stares and other suspicious activity. I tell ALL WOMEN in New York City to ALWAYS wear footwear you can run in. Fuck heels. Be prepared to run away.

This is what really ticks me off about the new congestion pricing in the city. While some frequent drivers do say there is slightly less traffic, my issue with more tolls is that NOTHING is improving in the city. Furthermore, these tolls hurt the wrong people. It truly doesn’t affect the wealthy. Who they are hurting is the guy or gal who lives in Queens or Brooklyn who commutes to city, working in a school or hospital. Now, said person who may have children, instead of driving, has to commute via subway, doubling their commute time, therefore taking away time they could spend with their loved ones. Furthermore, the subways are filthy, often delayed, and a general dismal experience.

My question is… with all these tolls and meters and tickets, where does all this money go? Furthermore, New York recently legalizing sports gambling and weed means in the last year they have made BILLIONS extra in profit. Also, while most of the profits from state lotteries goes to public education, in New York, only a fraction goes to schools and the rest goes to “government funds.” WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MONEY GOING AS THE CITY CONTINUES TO BE MORE AND MORE OF A DUMP.

While I acknowledge my privilege and how much I absolutely love taking a 20 minute Uber instead of a 40-50 subway ride home, and I certainly am not making the money to spending $50 on a ride home instead of $2.90, I can easily justify my life being worth $50 over risking being assaulted even it is a semi-unnecessary expense given the public alternative is so much cheaper. One of my friends is a lawyer who deals with violent crime victims and she used to BEG ME to take Ubers all the time (much easier for her as she’s not an artists salary, but I do take her cautions seriously).

Yes. I cringe at knowing I could have taken one or two more vacations overseas for the amount of money I spent on Ubers. It is just part of making city life comfortable, which is becoming increasingly more difficult for the struggling class.

What the hell. What makes me less of princess than a duchess? Besides being related to royalty and having money and power? I’m precious cargo anyway! Maybe not to all, but to some. So I’ll continue to be an Uber Princess this year and completely ignore its impact on my bank account… until tax season next year.