Years ago, I had to delete the online game app “Words With Friends” (for those who don’t know it, it’s essentially scrabble where you can verse friends or strangers) because I became so hyper competitive on it, it was basically ruining my life. This is also why I haven’t owned game consoles. I played playstation and x-box till early college when a flood in our basement destroyed our x-box and we didn’t replace it (although my brother would get his own at some point). I decided it was for the best, as those virtual reality worlds can suck you in. The graphics continued to get better, the stories of the games more complex. I neither begrudged nor misunderstood those who become obsessed with their video games. I get it. But also, I wanted to my real life to be more interesting, engaging, exciting and interesting than any video game. Or maybe it was always more of a need than a want.
Of course, COVID-19 showed up and disrupted everyone’s lives. Confined to isolation and distancing. Though I’m no stranger to either. It feels vain to worry about a comedy career right now. It feels petty to complain when I’m young, healthy, and really, a candidate who would be inconvenienced by the virus if I got it, rather than seriously threatened.
So we wait. We wait, and wait. It’s not the end of the world but everything will be different. Or maybe different isn’t the right word. Shift. Everything will shift. In some ways for the better. Like maybe everyone will be as much as a germaphone as I am. And maybe, just maybe, NYC will be a clean city… one I’ve always dreamed of. It is my biggest gripe of the city I love most, the city I call home.
I enjoy being alone. But I’ve done it many (probably too many) times to know how weird it can get. How crazy you can become. So when people, at first, were saying they were looking forward to it, I silently thought, “you will not.”
I don’t have to tell you things are bad. I have to tell you it’s not the end of the world. Not because I’m optimistic. Because it’s not.
Since we are distancing, I once again downloaded that “Words with Friends” app that once turned me into a monstrous logophile and challenged my nerdy friends to some Scrabble fun. Others, like comedian friends on Facebook, have found me on there and now I’ve many games going, though my skills are rusty and I’ve died slow deaths on many games.
Sometimes I’ll accept challengers who I don’t know. But some of these people aren’t here for wholesome word fun… oh no. They message me where I’m from/how is the quarantine going. Then, they ask me if I’m married, or sometimes they skip that part and just ask me what I’m wearing. “Interested in naughty chatting?” No. Absolutely not. I am here to play a word game. For the love of god. [GOD, with the “G” on triple letter is 12 points.]
There are some things I miss I didn’t think I would ever miss. Like Monday meetings at my job. Eavesdropping on strangers in a bar. Even riding the subway.
Then there’s the more obvious things. I miss staying up late, smoking a joint with friends and laughing with them. I miss surfing. I miss stand up. I miss sex. I miss safely going anywhere. I miss worrying about things that I shouldn’t have even been worried about at the time.
Readers, thank you as always for visiting. Perhaps I’ll find a way to post more content. I feel too guilty trying to monetize anything at the moment, even though, like many, I am going to drown financially for a while.
Please stay healthy. Please find ways to be creative and happy. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I can’t wait to hug a lot of people. And actually, I miss having actual words with strangers.
Dear Uncle Dennis
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