The Knife At The Holiday Party

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• December 28, 2022

The group of kids I grew up with are still some of my closest friends to this day. It seems rare now, in my 30s, that one remains so close to their childhood best friends. Most of us have been friends since middle school, if not elementary school. We just got lucky, I guess. To find our people at such a young age, our friend family, who laughs, drinks, competitively plays games and is there for each other through hard times…

Most of them still live on Long Island, with a few exceptions. And while we don’t see each other like we used to, as we all have other lives, careers, other friend groups, and growing families of our own, when we get together it truly is like old times.

At our most recent holiday party, where we have our annual secret Santa, we were trying to figure out just how long we had been keeping this tradition going. We couldn’t remember the exact year but it’s been over a decade at this point.

For our secret Santa exchange, we all gather around and one person starts, gifting their gift. That person opens their gift, and then gives there. And so goes until the circle is complete. So, as the exchange starts, someone is trying to open a box that is taped tight shut. “Does anyone have a scissor or a knife?”

“I do,” I say, pulling a small pocket knife, no bigger than your pinky. As far as knives go, it’s adorable. Everyone laughs at the fact that I’m the one in the room with a small weapon. My dear friend Brittany, who is unintentionally one of the funniest people I know because she’s so sweet and such a worrier exclaimed multiple times, “I just can’t believe you would carry a weapon to a party of people you know.” I tell her I always carry a weapon and that knives aren’t just a weapon but a tool.

The little knife ended up being used to open 5 different boxes of secret Santa gifts. It was even later used to open trays of cookies that were tightly tied with ribbons. Despite Brittany’s concern that it was “slightly disturbing” (by the way, no one else thought it was disturbing, Brittany is just adorable), the knife at the party was a gigantic hit and proved far more useful than just me.

The lesson of the story is to always carry a weapon. I think. Also, that it’s always hilarious when I antagonize Brittany.