Patronage Plea

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• July 9, 2023

Okay, okay, okay… so let’s start with some COOL news. And then I’ll get into why my life is a complicated mess and why I need your help.

Pretty soon, I’m going to annoy the shit out of everyone on social media promoting my first comedy special taping/album. I’m super stoked to announce I will be taping at Kevin Smith’s Smodcastle Theater (yes, that Kevin Smith of Clerks/Jay and Silent Bob, nerd hero for the film and comic book enthusiasts) this September. Don’t worry, I will be relentless in plugging this trying to sell tickets soon.

So that is very exciting news. It will be hosted by the great James Mattern. Good friends and hilarious comics Dennis Rooney and Michael Somerville will also be on the bill.

And now here comes the part where I ask your help. I am self producing this special/album. I don’t know how much my readers are in tune with the inner works of comedy, but most comedians self produce specials/albums now. Even famous ones like Sam Morril who has like a million followers. The “industry” just doesn’t produce specials or albums like they once did, and often when they do, it’s not always a great deal for the artist. Additionally, comedians who have grinded and worked their asses off on material for years have to compete with TikTok stars who often lack any substance, let alone material, besides posting quick clips. The art of stand up comedy, one of the hardest art forms there is, is suffering.

Because I am self producing, I will be crowd funding. You’ll see all of this soon as well. There will be tiers of “benefits” so it’s not simply a donation, even though it kind of is.

Here’s some costs I have to cover: Theater fees, paying my openers, ads, crew costs, editing costs, photographer costs for the album work, getting on a record label (so I can get the album on SiriusXM which will hopefully be fruitful in both getting my jokes out there and getting residual payments), and probably other costs I’m forgetting because I’m not good at thinking about money.

If you are a regular blog reader and/or one of my social media followers, I always try to put out jokes, funny and/or interesting/inspiring/thought provoking blogs, podcast episodes, even sexy pictures, somewhat for me, but mostly FOR YOU. I don’t yet have ANYTHING behind a paywall. All of this takes time and often money. So if you are a fan and follower, please consider making a contribution. I mean, if you’re broke as fuck, don’t. Also, if you have extra money and want to spend it on your family, do that. Unless your family sucks. Give me money instead. Or if you help out your family and you still have some extra dough, contribute to the not really noble but pretty cool fucking project that is a stand-up comedy special.

Here’s why I’m asking. Besides all those above things I just said. I currently do not have the money to fund this special (I say with great shame). Like most writers and comedians, I’m borderline starving. But, Lori, don’t you have TWO writing jobs?

Yes. Yes I do. But strap into how fucked up this is. My main source of income is writing for radio. I write for a company that has been in such financial duress, it has been bought by another company. Which I’m hoping is a good thing? But currently they owe me 2+ months of pay. Yup. That’s right. Do you live month to month? Well, so do I. And I’m currently living on credit card debt. I’m being fucked and not in the way I enjoy being fucked. Radio is an underpaid medium to begin with, what with all the streaming services and stuff. I like the job. And I’m grateful for a writing job that allows me to travel and have the freedom to do stand up and other writing jobs. But I am deep in the red and not because of my own fiscal irresponsibility.

But, Lori, don’t you also write jokes for the #1 show on late night television? Yes. I am a freelance joke writer for Gutfeld! on Fox (a non WGA show so it is unaffected by the writers strike). Once again, I like writing for the show, but I’m used on an as needed basis. Freelancers don’t exactly make the wages of staff writers.

The money in stand-up is an actual joke itself (literally, rates for stand up have not gone up since the late 80s). While I am “succeeding” to some degree, I live in one of the most expensive places in the world— with inflation and not getting raises (or even paid), I understand why Edgar Allan Poe (who was always poor) drank himself to death (I’m not saying that’s what I’m going to do, but I’m also not NOT saying that’s what I’m going to do, as I drink to stave off panic attacks).

Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. I love being a writer and a working artist. I love New York. My life is filled with rewarding experiences and I have more fun and I have consumed and created more culture already than most people ever will in their lifetime. However, this is the transparency of the struggle. So when you see an artist raising money for something, it doesn’t mean we want to ask for money or help. If you follow artists who aren’t famous and they provide you entertainment, whether it’s boredom killing or insight, consider joining their Patreons or contributing to their crowdfunding. Sure, it’s not as much a worthy cause like donating money to disease research, but what a shit world it would be without art, wouldn’t it?

Thank you for reading. Click here for the IndieGoGo crowdfunding page.

I’m also available to hire editing (use my college education for writing and screenwriting), for babysitting, housekeeping, painting a wall or fence, or almost (ALMOST YOU PERVES) anything because I am hella broke.