Captain’s Log: Part II

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• February 21, 2024

[Most things in Hawaii are beautiful… except this ugly motherfucker.]

Day 5: Thursday after the gig, I wasn’t feeling my best. My voice was a little better, but I still sounded like Patty and Selma (Marge Simpson’s sisters). It was kind of a lame day, but productive. Thursdays are my busy days anyway because I write for two services. My throat was raw and my ear was bothering me. So the whole day I just worked and wrote, with a steady rotation of antibiotics, Sudafed, robitussin, tea and naps.

Day 6: In the morning, I was still coughing and my ear hurt. Gah! I knew whatever was going on with my ear wasn’t swimmers ear, so I wasn’t concerned about going in the ocean. Plus, I’m a firm believer the ocean cures a lot of things, like your sinuses, minor cuts and depression! But I wasn’t quite at 90% yet, let alone 100%. This bothered me, but I kept reminding myself I had three weeks in Hawaii so a few laying low days wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I could be stuck in New York, looking out my window with dark circles under my eyes, still pale and cursing the snow, refusing to leave my apartment in the cold, just getting stoned and watching movies after work was done.

Plus, the waves were shit that day, as it was very windy and would be through the weekend. I did take my mask and snorkel to the beach and swam around. Saw some sea turtles and fish. Purposefully inhaled water through my nose and coughed it up, cleansing my sinuses.

That night I had an “ice cream date” (haha, how 1950s of us) with a fellow I met on Bumble which I’d been using to find friends/adventuring buddies. He was 25, which I feel almost creepy confessing, but at 34, I can totally pass for 27 or 28. We got ice cream made from bananas and talked a lot about surfing and movies and then watched a firework show. (I give my sister updates and information on any new people I meet up with. Lisa actively “stalks me” as she literally tracks my phone and checks my whereabouts, in case you were worried (like if you’re my mom or aunts) ).

Day 7: When I wake, I intend to go surfing. I have breakfast, gear up and go. But in the elevator, I had a full blown coughing attack. Worse still, there was a dude in the elevator with me wearing a mask and he was giving me evil eyes. In the lobby, I continued to cough up a lung and decide this was probably my body telling me “no.” So I returned to my room, took cough medicine and returned to bed. It was another windy day, so I wasn’t missing much surf wise but I was still annoyed. Also, Saturday is my full day off! I went back to sleep for a little, and when I woke, I packed a beach bag and my snorkel, ate an edible and headed to the beach for a chill day. One of my best friends, Dani, got me this little speaker that is waterproof for my birthday (which I usually bring on her boat). It dawned on me that you could download music directly to the speaker (which I’d never done). This made me extremely stoked because the main reason I wanted to bring my phone to the beach was for music, but I feared when I swam someone might swap it.

I walked almost a half hour away from Waikiki towards Moana Beach (near where I’d been surfing) because it’s less crowded. Found myself a lazy spot in the sand. Put on my jams. Let my gummy kick in and I was part of the Island now. I snorkeled a couple different spots, swimming far out, far away from people— just me and the turtles. It was a solid way to waste a day. Later in the day, my cabana boy bitch (hahaha, I’m just kidding I’m don’t call him that, I’m awful) scooped me up and we went to Diamond Head to surf. The waves were bigger there, but the winds were still relentless making them a bit blown out. But from the water, the view was outstanding with the contrast of the turquoise water and emerald mountains. I was still a little high, probably. After, we took a swim and hot tub dip where I’m staying and chatted with charismatic Canadians.

Day 8 & 9: Holy shit. It’s been a week already? Time always flies when you don’t want it to. My work week starts Sunday, so I’m up at first light reading and editing stories. At home, during the winter, my friends joke that I turn into “Grandpa Lori” because I barely leave my apartment, and I bitch about the cold and other things while smoking a large pipe. Winter is for Grandpa mode. Alas, I was still being a little grandpa-ish in going to bed early and rising early. Though I was mostly feeling much better, my ear still aches at night and in the morning feels stuffed. I’m able to clear it by holding my nose and equalizing it. Though it usually causes vertigo for a minute and the room spins. I’m kind of used to it. In the past, I’ve almost passed out doing this. But now it’s kind of fun, like a very short high. Plus, my ear feels (temporarily) relieved (my ears have been fucked up since I was a kid, in fact, I used to get so many ear infections, it permanently damaged my hearing in my right ear).

[Do these boardshorts make my butt look big?]

Both days I work and surf a spot called Rockpiles, where, the reef can get shallow. When jumping off a wave, my right foot landed directly on the reef. The reef cut my foot and sliced my toe. Ouch! It wasn’t too bad, but you always want to clean a reef cut really well. I had to get some bandages and ointment. I had already had peroxide which I was pouring in my ear the night before. My night stand, between the allergy stuff, cough drops, travel pill box, bandages and more was starting to look like I was running a pharmacy.

Before my injury, out at the break, I had been out there for a solid half hour and thought to myself, “huh, I haven’t seen a sea turtle today.” And I swear on my nephew’s and niece’s lives, that right at that moment, a sea turtle came up for air right next to me. My mom thinks I have some sort of spiritual connection to ocean animals because I really am blessed with some of the coolest encounters. I think it’s possibly more evidence we live in a computer simulation. Either way, I said, “hi Jeff,” to the sea turtle. Jeff is my friend and fellow surfer who died a couple years ago from cancer. Grief leaves behind wounds that will never heal.

After some writing (and tending to my foot), I walked about an hour towards Diamond Head to a lighthouse, checking out the surf spots in the other direction and going into shops. The small waves make me miss surfing days with my dad. And the shops full of cute, beach things make me wish my mom was by my side.

I’m in bed 8:30pm (haha, Grandpa Lori).

Day 10: My Benjamin Braddock (haha, if you get the reference) promises a secret waterfall with a swimming hole that tourists don’t know about. Like usual, I work in the wee morning hours, but by 10am, we’re going to both Judd Falls and this secret spot with ruins and falls (where the water is really cold, I’m warned). They’re both short hikes (though at times steep). Both waterfalls are rewarding. We swim in both, and even jump off rocks into Judd falls. We part ways in the afternoon as I have to return to work, but I squeeze in a short surf session.

My body hurts, but in a good way (mostly). I need a massage (goddamn Grandpa Lori). My ear still feels stuffy, which I hope goes away so I can go diving with my housemate before the trip ends. Tomorrow I get to see The Beach Boys at the theater. All around, I feel good vibrations.