Big Island: Manta Rays, Meth and Waterfalls

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• November 18, 2024

On top of Rainbow Falls, a man who looked liked if Gandalf was smoking crack in his pipe for a couple centuries, calls to me, a lone traveler exploring the area, “if you don’t have a boyfriend, wanna get high with me?”

“No thank you,” I said, as he’s not my type, nor is crack my drug of choice. To be fair, he was probably getting high on meth, not crack. Crack isn’t readily available on the Hawaiian islands as to make crack you have to sacrifice cocaine, which I doubt anyone would do. Meth, on the other hand, can be made from stuff bought in a drug store and is cheap.

This waterfall is relatively isolated from any town, and I wonder how he got here or why he thinks a drug like meth is a good idea to do on top of a waterfall (meth is a body high, making it an especially dangerous drug to do in conditions, like, say, slippery rocks above a waterfall that will kill you if you fall off of it). This was the first thing I did when I touched base on Big Island, since I was too early to check into where I was staying. I also came across some lava caves, which were very cool, but I didn’t have a strong enough flashlight to explore deep into the caves.

[Dis flashlight ain’t doing shit in here, dude.]

[View from where I was staying.]

The following day was very exciting for me, because the main reason I came to Big Island was for a nighttime manta ray dive. I LOVE mantra rays. I dream about them. I mean I literally have had dreams about big with manta rays for, like, two decades. In Costa Rica, I saw a manta ray leap out of the water while I was surfing. Which was crazy. Because it’s wing span was about ten feet (mantas can get as big 20 feet) and it doesn’t seem feasible for something like that to leap out of the water. Manta Rays are gentle giants and do not have stingers. Their diet consists of zooplankton.

Giddy with anticipation for the night snorkel, I still had a glorious day to fill. I drove about an hour to a volcanic beach to explore and snorkel. Black sands and sapphire waters, there were more goats than people on this beach. By my lonesome, I swam out into the water. Much to my surprise, once you’ve dropped off from the black sand, the reef was wildly colorful, one of the most colorful I’ve seen. I didn’t swim too far out considering there were no humans around and I also didn’t have flippers with me. I made a promise to my family I wouldn’t die.

Queens bath was next on my list and not far from the village of Kona, where I was staying. A sort of hidden spot, popular for families because it has a series of tide pools surrounded by lava rock protecting it from the rougher seas of the Pacific. It was like a dream and I would dead man float in my solitary tide pool, watching the clouds above… I found zen, half way across the world.

There, I befriended with a local who was drinking beers. He gave me a beer and I gave him weed. We talked a lot about the island, made jokes, and compared our various adventures. He wanted to continue to hang, but I ditched him for the Manta Rays. He said I was “a bitch” but also said he was in love with me, and that I was “totally gorgeous for 35.” (Why just for 35? Feels like I could be pretty hot still for 25?) We didn’t exchange numbers.

Nighttime comes and I go to the marina for the Manta Ray snorkel. There’s a spot where various charters go to where the reef mantas feast. They have lights on the bottom of the reef. They have rigged surfboards with lights underneath it and a handles around the board for the people, who essentially float on the top, superman style, holding the board with a pool noodle under your feet. The plankton is drawn to the light. So fish and mantas come by for an easy meal.

There were only four of us guests, and ultimately, we saw six Mantas (the biggest over 8 feet!) that would swim right under you. They did belly rolls practically on your belly. Over and over. Playful creatures, they seemed to enjoy our company. The first mate of the boat, a dude with great abs originally from New Jersey, said we got quite a show. I can remember few moments of the last five years when I was that happy. Surrounded by gentle giants, under an almost full moon. It was magical.

[This is not an actual picture from my experience, but this is what it looks like.]

The hot NJ first mate and I exchanged instagrams, and he quickly learned I’m a comedian and I quickly learned he knew some great cliff jumping spots. So I asked him if he would take me to one of the cliff jumping places and he agreed to it. I made a human friend! Not just sea turtle friends!

[New Jersey talkin’ mantas with a tourist.]

But the following day, I drove across the island to Hilo to see a couple waterfalls, including a huge one to swim in (it was on private property and there was a hefty fee). The Big Island is so much different than Oahu or Maui. Every island has its own vibe, and different natural architecture. If there’s a cosmic creator to all of this, then it seems to me she spent extra time on Hawaii and forgot about most of the rest of the world. The Big Island is (obviously) very volcanic, with giant lava fields. The only place it was comparable to that I’ve been to is Iceland.

New Jersey took me to a jump called “The End of the World,” a 30-40 foot cliff into deep water. Cliff jumping is something I absolutely love, but it has been a while since I’ve jumped from anything that high. “Goodbye suckkkaasss,” I said to the camera (my little nephew, Blaise, loves saying that when he’s playing) as I jumped in. What a rush! New Jersey took the video and then did a back flip off the cliff (show off, haha). It was, though, sketchy getting back. The waves were rougher than they looked from up top and crashing onto the cliffs.

The current rocked us a little and we surveyed the best way to get up. It wasn’t climbing up the cliff that made my heart beat fast. It was timing the waves so that you can get on a rock ledge without getting slammed. This is a good way to break a limb, and I wouldn’t recommend it for most people. We tread water for a little while, hoping for a break in the waves and current. That didn’t seem hopeful. The difference between the outgoing and in-going waves was about three feet of water. So I lunged myself into a wave that took me to a rock ledge (I wore water shoes, thank goodness). The then hugged onto this rock with all my muscle, knowing that if I let go, the wave would take me with it and it would be bad news. I hugged that rock like it was a friend who went to war who I thought died and then ran into them at a bar. I hugged it like I would have hugged a manta ray, if I could. I hugged it like I would have hugged my sick Uncle if I could see him again.

[Yeah, so that’s what you have to climb back on after the jump!]

I was able to swing my feet around and climb up away from the waves. New Jersey also had gotten onto a rock. Phew! We were safe. I would have jumped more times, but I considered myself lucky to have not gotten injured coming back, so I decided against it. Even he said it was one of the roughest times he jumped off The End of the World. So we went to a calmer beach to snorkel instead.

New Jersey had to work a sunset Manta Ray snorkel, which I ended going as his plus one. Whoohoo! I got to go twice!!! I sat up top of the boat with the captain, and we spotted dolphins. He drove to them. I asked if I could jump in and he said no (haha). But the dolphins jumped all around the boat and surfed the nose. I was cheering. It was so cool. What a day… cliff jumping, snorkeling, dolphins, mantas… this is literally my dream.

My new friend had some other good tips for beaches, including one near this Hilton, about an hour north of Kona where they have dolphins in captivity. The following day, I spent a decent amount of time there, watching them. And I snorkeled three different beaches, spending ample time with fish and sea turtles.

The last full day, I was headed to the Volcano Park. Unfortunately, on this day, my Godfather passed away. For years, he has suffered from Parkinson’s, and this past year has been particularly rough. He was admitted to the hospital shortly before I left for this trip. Initially, it was my plan to cut the trip in case of his passing, but my family all (parents, uncles, cousins) told me to stay. There’s a lot of us, so they (or in this case, my mom) didn’t need me to be a hero and return. Additionally, my Uncle was quite the world traveler and they all insisted he would want me to live out my adventure, which I also believe is true.

The volcano’s were very cool (or should I say, hot?) and otherworldly. It rained most of the time and I was glad to have a trusty poncho that I got from my Dad. I hiked for hours, taking it all in, much of the time thinking of my Uncle. Sometimes crying, sometimes smiling at all the good times we had together.

[Lava tubes!]

From massive craters, to natural steam vents, to lava tubes and hiking across a massive lava field, it was quite a seven mile adventure. Though I did quite a lot in the six days I spent on Big Island, I felt I only scratched the surface of all the unique and wonderful things one can explore on the island. I’d certainly come back, but probably not without an adventure buddy, since the drives are long and some things places were too isolated or dangerous for me to go it alone. Of course, my absolute favorite part of being on Big Island was smoking meth with that crack head on the waterfall. I kid, I kid. It was the manta rays!

In some ways, I feel so far away from “reality.” Living in a reverie. But in other ways, I never felt so real and alive myself. I wish I could teleport my loved ones here with me. It’s true, sometimes, I feel alone out here. I am not though. I’m with Mother Ocean, Father Mountains, the lush life on land, the families of fish, the serene sea turtles, the colorful coral, the sky, and everything in-between, including the locals and tourists.

“Noho me ka hau’oli”

It means, in Hawaiian, be happy.