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Blog / News
You’re Gonna Make Me Die
August 16, 2021
If you heard the screams from outside, you would have thought we were amputating his leg. My sister was tending to my nephew’s (6) scrapes, a total of three: one on his face, one on his hip and another on his elbow, from a collision on his scooter. My sister was changing his bandaid and
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Masters of Deception
August 1, 2021
Saying “I love art” feels like kind of a stupid exclamation. Because doesn’t everyone? Are there any people out there stoutly against art? Look, there is a great amount of complete garbage art that people consider great, but writimg about how I frequent art museums and read literature makes me a snob, which, when it
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The Escape Plan
July 28, 2021
In the before times, I used to work in a high rise in Times Square. As much as locals both hate and avoid the midtown, I didn’t loath working on 48th street and Broadway, an atrium into the heart of New York City. Sure, the tourists (especially the slow walking ones) annoyed me. As soon
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The Grove
July 20, 2021
The first time I went to Cherry Grove, I was only a child. Cherry Grove, of course, is the notorious gay town of Fire Island. It’s so notorious, that some people associate all of Fire Island as being this sort of gay sanctuary. This is not entirely true. Fire Island is a special place, with
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It Wasn’t Me
July 18, 2021
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed Creeping with the girl next door Picture this, we were both butt-naked Banging on the bathroom floor I had tried to keep her From what she was about to see Why should she believe me When I told her it wasn’t me — ‘It Wasn’t Me’ by
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The Secret Safe
July 5, 2021
Despite the fact that I swore off all bridal and baby showers for the rest of my life, I’ve already recently been to a couple. But of course I’m not going to miss the baby shower for my nephew, or my cousin-to-be bridal shower. However, if you’ve invited me to a shower, please don’t be
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Throw Pillows
July 1, 2021
Not much about me is that girly. In fact, growing up among a group of best friends who were mostly guys, I was not only treated as one of the boys but when someone pointed out I was pretty or to have better manners around a lady, my friends (and brother) would scoff, “Lori?!! Lori
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On The Road Again
June 24, 2021
“She made $100,000 in just ONE month?” “Just one month. But it’s her first month on only fans, so she probably won’t make as much the following months.” “Jesus Christ. And to think I’ve been masturbating for free all these years. $100,000. Man.” “There’s got to be something a little fucked up about you if
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K.I.S.S.
June 19, 2021
I’m unsure where the saying came from or how far back it goes. But it lingers and is repeatedly spoken because of how true it is. Keep it simple, stupid. I might as well get it tattooed on me as a reminder. Most recently, my manager said this about my script. As I tend to
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Indoor Surfing
June 15, 2021
Surfers are basically crack heads for waves. Just as a stage and a hot crowd is heroin for comedians. Somewhere in my social media the Skudin Surf Park in New Jersey came up. I had always wanted to try a wave pool. A perfect wave? Over and over? Guaranteed conditions? I didn’t realize the American
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