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Blog / News
Way Too Much Butter
June 7, 2021
I took a small chunk of money and invested in some stocks. Not an impressive amount, mind you. Nor do I plan to sit on them for ten years. Maybe a year or so. With hopes that I’ll make some sort of a profit, maybe I could go on a vacation. Mostly I invested in
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Gnome Doors
May 26, 2021
“I was really high one night and ordered gnome doors. So I’m gonna put gnome doors in the park.” “Wait, what are you saying?” Katrina, Mike and I are in a dive bar chatting over drinks. “Gnome doors.” “Known door?” “No, gnome doors. Like little doors. Fairy doors. They’re like the size of your hand.”
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Not Quite Young
May 17, 2021
No year aged me more than 2020. I suspect many people feel the same way. For fucks sake, I even almost look my age now! Even when I was a scrawny teenager, I was under the impression my 30s would be my prime, not my 20s. I’m not even entirely sure why I felt this
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Adventure Pack
May 11, 2021
I don’t even own a single pocketbook. Not one. I only have small backpacks and a couple of wristlets. In fact, the handbag craze with women is completely lost on me. Usually if a woman brags about the price tag on her bag I think she is probably not that smart and likely not capable
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Missing Drone
May 9, 2021
I stood on the street examining a sign for a missing drone, you know, with a reward and all like one would post for a missing pet. We didn’t have many pets growing up, so never in my life would I know the stinging fear of a pet gone MIA (save for our turtle who
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Books I Think About All The Time
May 6, 2021
When I was a kid, I went back and forth with reading as far as loving it/not caring for it. I remember learning to read being somewhat of a struggle and it was thought I might have had dyslexia like my brother and dad. After being tested for it, they said my reading comprehension was
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Their loss.
April 21, 2021
Their loss. Close friends and family say. That’s what they say when a writing job opportunity is lost. Or when I’m rejected in love. Their loss. How I want to believe them. And I don’t doubt that they mean it. That if I wasn’t in their lives they would feel the loss. Or that they
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Dear Late Night Me
April 13, 2021
Dear Late Night Me, Having another insomnia spat, are we? Infuriating, isn’t it? How you could pass out in a matter of minutes at any random point of the day and now that you’re snuggled on your perfect mattress, all cozy and warm, you can’t sleep. Do you reach for the sleeping pills yet? The
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Blaise of Glory
April 8, 2021
Dearest Blaise, First born son of my brother. Heir to the arm that shook the world. Future surf legend. Nephew of famed writer, Lori Palminteri (okay, probably not famed but at least relatively successful by the time you’re of age to read this). I will never forget the day you were born. Partly because your
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peep wars
March 27, 2021
I liked Palm Sunday. Because my family went to church every Sunday until I was 16. A lot of good it did me (it turned me into a heathen). But Palm Sunday I liked, not really for religious reasons, rather because when you walked into church they gave you palms which people made into crosses.
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