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Blog / News
To All My Friends
December 22, 2017
Now, I realize my blogs can be quite deplorable tonally. As well as my twitter jokes. And my stand-up. And just being around me in general (I was once out with my friend/comic Michael Somerville and his friend. His friend whom I just met asked me, “what is your stand-up about?” And without missing a
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What’s His Name
December 15, 2017
Sometime early 2016, I went on three dates with a guy and never learned his name. That sentence is both ridiculous and hilarious, but also, sadly true. Allow me to explain. We “met” on Bumble. Bumble, for those lucky enough to have never online dated, is your basic swipe left for no, swipe right for
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Toys R Us
December 10, 2017
For two months I worked in a Toys R Us for the months of November and December for just above minimum wage. I had already graduated from college, an honors student. This was after I worked in the nursing home. The nursing home job remains one of the highest paying jobs I’ve ever had. I
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Secret Spy
December 3, 2017
Many times as a kid, and I won’t lie, as an adult as well, I’ve daydreamed the scenario where I’m a spy. Incognito and unnoticed, a simple patron of a bar or cafe, gathering information on someone. An ass kicking spy who “only works alone” because everyone she gets close to dies and makes sarcastic
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Background
November 25, 2017
It would probably not surprise you if I told you that background actors (and I use the word “actor” here very loosely) are mostly batshit insane. I’ve never claimed nor pretended to be sane myself, but I self-indentify as the “good kind of crazy,” if such a thing exists. And it often horrifies me when
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Remember, Remember, What Happens In November
November 19, 2017
There are patterns. And they can’t always be chalked up to coincidence. To see it that way would be foolish. November and February. The notoriously rough months. It’s rare I can escape either month without some sort of depressive episode and/or a nervous breakdown. Blame it on the darkness. Blame it on the cold. Blame
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Showered
November 12, 2017
“You would think you came from a broken home with a bad divorce based on your feelings towards marriage,” my friend said to me. It’s hard not to laugh at that, because it would seem that way. But he is wrong. My parents marriage is so fucking good, they have nearly ruined relationships for me.
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Bear Mountain
November 3, 2017
I had thought about it the night before but wasn’t sure if I would actually follow through. Hiking Bear Mountain was something I talked about when I moved to Astoria almost four years ago, but alas, as beautiful as mountains are, my heart always belonged to the sea. Bad sleep is to blame and to
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Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
October 29, 2017
Yes. Quite simply and fully. Always have been, always will be. Even if I love it now, in many ways, the dark is when I tell jokes and make people laugh, the dark is when you’re comfortable in bed: for sleep, for sex, for warmth, for the love of nothingness. The dark is when Manhattan
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The Fourth Hour
October 22, 2017
And so, it would seem, once again, when the Fourth Hour comes, I spring up, awake and alert, usually at 4am, but that’s only because I usually go to bed at midnight, it could be 3am, if I went to sleep earlier, or 5am if I went to sleep later. The time itself is irrelevant,
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