Captain’s Log: Part I

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• February 15, 2024

Arrival Day: I don’t consider the arrival day the first day of my Hawaii trip. The flight is over 10 hours, and I slept for most of it with a little help from drugs. The last two hours of the flight were the worst, when I wanted to read my book but the young man next to me was watching something and laughing. Of course, I usually love the sound of laughter— but he had a horrible, worse than Seth Rogan, doofy laugh that was painfully annoying.

I landed a little after 4pm, Hawaii time. And I waited about another hour for my housemate to land, who generously checked my board bag because he could do so without a fee. Once settled, we went to the grocery store and picked up food and essentials. Hawaii IS more expensive than New York. I couldn’t believe how much groceries were. Still, it’s cheaper to make food than go out.

My work schedule for the time here would be roughly as follows: get up early (6:30/7) and work for a couple hours on the time sensitive material for my radio job. Then, I basically have the whole day to do what I want, until finishing up later in the day or evening. I also work ahead the night before. Intermittent working.

Day 1:

Waking up with the sun, I put on the kettle to make tea. I check the surf forecast before diving into news stories. It looks small but promising. By 9:30, I was in the water. God, do I love it here. The water and the air are both about 76 degrees. As I paddle, I watch schools of fish swim beneath me.

Waikiki, I had forgotten, is a really long paddle out. The waves are calm, so there’s little resistance, unlike Gilgo where you’re constantly battling the waves. I found a little swell and dropped in on waves with a smile on my face. It’s Super Bowl Sunday. My housemate invited me to a watch party with his friends. In Hawaii, the game starts at 1:30. A diver and avid fisher, the host had a giant pile of smoked marlin. Yum! It was a good game, but even better, I won $400 in a Super Bowl Box!

I took to an Instagram poll to ask friends and fans what I should do with extra money— a helicopter tour or jetski rental. Most people said jetski rental. But I have been on jet ski’s a lot and I’ve never been on a helicopter. My sister, who briefly lived in Hawaii, strongly advises I don’t go in a helicopter because she is afraid it will crash. I still haven’t decided.

Day 2:

There’s no swell today, after working I drive to a place call Electric Beach. My housemate was kind enough to let me borrow his beater truck, as Electric Beach is about a 40 minute drive to the East side of the island. My favorite feature on his truck is that if you try to turn the volume of the music down, it goes up.

Electric Beach is right next to an electric plant. The plant releases warm water into the sea, attracting an abundance of marine life. It is only advisable to dive or snorkel there if you are a strong swimmer. I’m alone, but also not alone. There are other people there diving or snorkeling. For sometime, I swam above a group of divers for the feeling of security. At the end of the pipeline, you can feel the already warm water get really, really warm. And there’s hundreds of fish swarming all around. I kind of wish I had a picture because it was really something special.

The only down part was once you left the part of the water that was 85 degrees, 75 degrees feels cold. Swimming along and away from anyone else, I did find a giant sea turtle, and hung out with him for a little while. Diving down, close enough to touch (but I don’t, I’m respectful), he looks at me with a peaceful indifference. Unafraid and like, “why do you find watching me eat so fascinating.”

Nearby, there are these “Mermaid Caves.” These coral caves that are a bit dangerous, but so cool to look to explore. I was able to climb down one, and a couple helped me get out (haha).

Once back in Honolulu, I explored the beach and city more. My surf watch broke, and I was on a mission to find a new one. Surprising to me, I had to go to eight surf shops. Most of them didn’t carry surf watches. Ripcurl did, but I didn’t want to spend $200 on a watch (I need that money to be in a helicopter or on a jetski!). But there was a Hawaiian Shop that had (ironically) a Ripcurl watch on sale for $60.

Day 3:

After working, I hurried to the beach. It’s still early, about 9:30am. There’s a spot called Moana Bowls that is supposed to be better than Waikiki. It’s almost a half hour walk for me, but I don’t mind. You can’t beat the scenery. Again, this paddle out is far. But the reward is grand. Three to four feet perfect waves. I find a nice right with a five guys on it who all know each other. They are very good surfers. I don’t get him their way, and they turn out to be really nice. They block off waves for me, “this one is yours!” It’s perfect. There’s sea turtles all over the place. The waves don’t have much power, but enough to do little cutbacks. I surf until my arms are shot.

Though I deleted dating apps this year, I redownloaded Bumble for this trip. Three weeks is a long time, and I could perhaps meet someone cool to do some excursions with. There are settings on Bumble (for those who don’t know) where you can be looking for friends or short term fun, etc. I also (shamelessly) used it to promote my gig on Valentine’s Day (haha).

One of my matches was with a doctor my age (allegedly, but he did turn out to be legit). We got dinner and a couple drinks. He was very cool, and it was a fun time, though my voice was starting to go, so I cut the night short (my allergies had been acting up and I was suffering from a post nasal drip).

Well, that night, my throat started hurting me quite a bit. I had no fever, only a slight cough from a tingle in the back of my throat and ear pressure (this is the dead giveaway that it’s a sinus problem and not Covid or flu). In the morning, I could barely speak.

Day 4: It was extremely unlucky that on the day of my show (where I’m headlining and supposed to do 45 minutes), I wake up with laryngitis. However, extremely lucky that the one friend I made is a doctor and he wrote me a prescription for my sinus infection. Where I was once really looking forward to the show, I now had nerves, not knowing if I could physically talk for that long. I spent the day quarantined in my room, writing, drinking copious amounts of tea and resting until show time. I don’t care if I lose my voice for a couple days after the gig. I just want to be able to do the gig.

Night falls, and I head to the gig. Stand Up Honolulu is a small club, but not in a bad way. It kind of had the feel of a New York City room. I expressed my concerns about my voice lasting throughout my set. They had a couple of guest spots from out of town and were extremely cool and understanding. I closed the show doing a half hour, joking about my voice up top, “I usually sound like a nasally chipmunk, not a squirrel who habitually smokes menthol cigarettes.” The crowd was great! It was a fun show. My voice was shot by the end, and I went to bed with a whole bunch of drugs in my system and congested head.

Dreaming of the waves.