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Magic Wands
October 27, 2022
A magic wand (I hope that every woman knows and has one) is a female pleasuring device that isn’t actually magic but might as well be. Some years ago, I had broken my magic wand. No, I will not be taking questions at this time. And so, I decided to write the manufacturer. In my
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Tall Order
October 26, 2022
While being a late blooming runt caused strife throughout my youth, there was no time I hated it more than going to an amusement park and being denied entry to big rides. You might as well have cut out my heart. Of course, on some level I understood it was not because I would be
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Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws
October 22, 2022
“Kidnap the Sandy Claws Lock him up real tight Throw away the key and then Turn off all the lights” —Nightmare Before Christmas It’s no secret that “The Nightmare Before Christmas” was one of my favorite childhood movies. Which, in retrospect, is mildly unnerving. Every year, I re-watch it and go, “wow this is weird
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Ghost Passenger
October 19, 2022
“Well you and I both know that the house is haunted And you and I both know that the ghost is me” -Dearly Departed, Shakey Graves It was the first time in my entire life I missed a plane. Hell, it was the first time in my entire life I was even late for a
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Anticipation
October 8, 2022
My mom told me a tale she heard that I can not concern for sure is fact or fiction, but it’s tale applauded by parents, praised as genius. Apparently, there’s this family that is driving down to Florida to go to Disney World and they know for sure their kids are going to fight with
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Wisdom
September 28, 2022
It was always said since I was a mere elementary school kid that I was “wise beyond my years.” It was a badge I wore with honor. Though, despite my brain and disposition being an old soul, my body developed at a snail’s pace, and I always looked years younger than I actually was. Alas,
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Bugs Bite & Bug Bites
September 19, 2022
It was the last weekend of summer vacation. But not the last weekend of summer… no, not for likes of salty beach bums like us. We stretched the summer well into September, still do. I was going into either sixth or seventh grade, years that are now hard for me to differentiate. So, that last
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Fast in the Past, Past Gone Fast
September 17, 2022
Once upon a past time, I was a pretty good soccer player. Back in my youth and teen years. My super power, if I had any, was speed. Those little stick legs of mine could run quite fast. Where I was gifted in speed, I failed to ever deliver power kicks. I’m unsure my scrawny
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Professional First, Degenerate Second
September 9, 2022
I am a professional first, and a degenerate second. If I think on it, these ways of mine could be traced back as far as grade school. If I had any gift of intellectualism, it was merely the discipline to not procrastinate. For the most part, I didn’t. Annoyingly so to my siblings and some
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Skin Care
September 3, 2022
You know you’re not quite young anymore when you start having morning and evening face wash and hydrating rituals, with different cleansers and moisturizers for different times of day (or even, different times of year). I recall looking at my mom’s dresser growing up, who had all sorts of creams in different sized bottles, thinking,
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