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Don’t Dream It’s Over
April 13, 2020
Do you keep track of the days anymore? Just enough so I’ll know what days I have to work. A remote job I couldn’t be more grateful to have at the moment. The year 2020 is officially a wash and I don’t have expectations of it being much more than a kitten hanging from a
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Unhinged
April 5, 2020
Charlotte (2), laughs maniacally at all the jump scares in a bad shark horror movie we’re watching. If we’re frightened or jump, she laughs hysterically. She does the same thing when you put on something loud, like a vacuum or a blender. She screams, hands over her ears, as loud as she can. In one
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Are You Kidding Me
March 30, 2020
We narrowly escaped New York just in time. Initially, it was just going to be me, riding solo, down to my parents house in Florida. Working remotely for my marketing director, and with comedy suspended for what is going to be a long time, it seemed like the best call. Like many, I’m taking a
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Words With Strangers
March 26, 2020
Years ago, I had to delete the online game app “Words With Friends” (for those who don’t know it, it’s essentially scrabble where you can verse friends or strangers) because I became so hyper competitive on it, it was basically ruining my life. This is also why I haven’t owned game consoles. I played playstation
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A Child With A Cool Pen
March 18, 2020
A. Child With A Cool Pen In retrospect, my family went on and got out of a trip on a cruise ship just in time (in February). One evening, my sister, mom, and my sister’s two kids went to a Disney song trivia. Lisa, my sister, was pretty confident she would win. She’s a Disney
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Bailiwick & Bandwidth
March 9, 2020
Whenever I vent about fears for the future, stress about jobs and career woes, almost everyone waves it off… “you’re smart,” they say, “you’ll figure it.” But what? What exactly am I figuring out? That’s the problem I have with this response. Am I figuring out my future? How to make money? How to be
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Wash Your Hands. Make Your Mom Proud.
February 26, 2020
“Wash, wash, wash your hands, make your mom proud,” the TV sang in the tiny cabin my brother and I would be sharing for the next four days. It was my first time on a cruise, and also my first time staying in a hotel room smaller than my studio apartment. The song playing on
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Too Much Jaw
February 11, 2020
TMJ does not stand for “too much jaw.” Despite the fact that I have confidently told people that and they’ve believed me. Saying silly nonsense to people is one of the traits I inherited from my Dad (as did my brother). My dad’s twin sister still falls prey to his bullshit, even after over 60
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I Just Got Here… And WTF??!!
February 7, 2020
Sometimes, I like to play this game. The game goes like this: an Alien has just arrived from another dimension. It finds me as a companion and a source for information– because of it’s higher intelligence, it already knows that I’ve seen glimpses of another side, so I won’t (completely) freak out, and also it
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An Open Letter Of Apology To My Neighborhood Opossum
January 30, 2020
Lyme disease is one of the fastest growing infectious diseases and is considered by the CDC an “emerging epidemic.” Hysteria? Maybe. But if there’s any type of hysteria I buy into, it’s usually some sort of disease. Infection and illness being my top fear. Lyme disease is a special issue because it’s extremely hard to
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