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Tell Tale Fart
August 14, 2020
I was very nervous. I don’t know what made me do it. It was the man’s eye. When my mother and I walked into the store, the man that greeted us had a terrible eye that was a yellowish-white. And he wasn’t friendly. Not friendly at all. Most times, when you walk into a store,
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Slipper & Slipping
August 3, 2020
It’s not your traditional Cinderella story. It’s not a Cinderella story at all, in fact. There’s no falling in love or even a proper shagging. There’s no shagging. It’s no longer official quarantine but the signs on the expressway remind you, “COVID IS STILL A THREAT: WEAR A MASK.” And anyone who says dating has
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While You Were Sleeping
August 3, 2020
While you were sleeping, with your long lashes closed over your wonder filled brown eyes, I kissed you on the cheek, then stroked your bleach blond hair. You were perfect. Peaceful. ‘Cozy-warm,’ as your sister says, when she pulls her Minnie Mouse blanket around her. And, you, baby niece, sweaty in your crib from the
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Bagging Groceries
July 27, 2020
Confession number one. I’ve been rather cheap in tipping delivery guys when I order in food. In the beginning of quarantine, I was good about it. But I’m financially strapped, and the days look grimmer. Outside of comedy, I work part time for a marketing director. For the first time in maybe forever, I actually
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Witchy Women
July 21, 2020
In some respects, I’d be insulting myself and in other ways I’d be complimenting myself if I labeled my person as a “witch.” And no, I don’t mean this as I practice Wicca or have a bad temper. I don’t practice any religion, and I think my temper is one of the few things I
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Wildflowers
July 13, 2020
It was a sight for sore eyes. Though I didn’t mind growing up near the train tracks. The sound of a train passing was hardly noticeable to me, since I was raised there and was so used it. But I remember when my Uncle visited from Virginia or a friend slept over they said they
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The Good. The Bad. The Funny.
July 3, 2020
One of my pen-pals (yes, that’s plural, I have multiple pen-pals that I write to via email or by hand or sometimes via messenger pigeons or I just write poetry and put it in bottles and thrust it into the ocean hoping it might reach a soul mate) shared this quote from Bob Newhart: “You
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Scuba Keg & Other Bad Ideas
June 25, 2020
It was my neighbor’s college graduation party. He was my kid brother’s best friend, and like a brother to me as well. As was his older brother, Wes, who was my age. It was destined to be a wild night. It wasn’t quite yet summer, but the weather felt it was. The pool was open.
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The Taste of You & Insect Genocide
June 17, 2020
This is a strange thing to admit to, though I suppose I’ve revealed more bizarre things about myself. Sometimes when I’m in my car after a surf session, hair a curly mess, salt dried on sun kissed skin, Ray Bans on, music loud, I coast down Ocean Parkway and I lick my arm because I
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Kermit
June 11, 2020
Frogs are among many of Mother Nature’s creatures that fascinate me and I find adorable in their own little weird way. Did you know that when a frog ejects it’s tongue and munches on an insect, it then blinks, it’s eyes are pushed in, helping the frog digest it’s meal?. Out on Long Island where
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