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BOOBS
September 10, 2020
This one may make my whole family seem like creeps but as the 2020 slogan seems to go, “it is what it is.” Back when I was in 6th grade, my family did our first trip out of the country to the Dominican Republic with our neighbors, the Winters. We had many fun years with
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My Sweet Summer
September 4, 2020
With a career disappeared overnight, nothing to accomplish, nowhere to go, there were two things to do over the summer: beach and party. The present was grim back in the Spring, and the future had the potential of being even more bleak. So, fuck it, I decided. Every chance I get, I’ll head to the
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It’s Thursday
August 27, 2020
It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m wide awake. Not surprising, at least not to me. I was so tired last night, so tired I fell asleep before eight, without the help of a little pill or a little laced chocolate or a little hit of anything. Just pure, sober, exhaustion. Sick? No. I think
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A Letter From Sexy Underwear
August 18, 2020
Dear Lori, Wow. It’s been sometime. I’ve fallen to the bottom or your underwear and bra drawer, in your shitty Ikea dresser that you said was a temporary dresser some six years ago. Have you forgotten what I look like? Or how cute your little non-existent butt looks like in a see through lace?
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Tell Tale Fart
August 14, 2020
I was very nervous. I don’t know what made me do it. It was the man’s eye. When my mother and I walked into the store, the man that greeted us had a terrible eye that was a yellowish-white. And he wasn’t friendly. Not friendly at all. Most times, when you walk into a store,
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Slipper & Slipping
August 3, 2020
It’s not your traditional Cinderella story. It’s not a Cinderella story at all, in fact. There’s no falling in love or even a proper shagging. There’s no shagging. It’s no longer official quarantine but the signs on the expressway remind you, “COVID IS STILL A THREAT: WEAR A MASK.” And anyone who says dating has
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While You Were Sleeping
August 3, 2020
While you were sleeping, with your long lashes closed over your wonder filled brown eyes, I kissed you on the cheek, then stroked your bleach blond hair. You were perfect. Peaceful. ‘Cozy-warm,’ as your sister says, when she pulls her Minnie Mouse blanket around her. And, you, baby niece, sweaty in your crib from the
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Bagging Groceries
July 27, 2020
Confession number one. I’ve been rather cheap in tipping delivery guys when I order in food. In the beginning of quarantine, I was good about it. But I’m financially strapped, and the days look grimmer. Outside of comedy, I work part time for a marketing director. For the first time in maybe forever, I actually
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Witchy Women
July 21, 2020
In some respects, I’d be insulting myself and in other ways I’d be complimenting myself if I labeled my person as a “witch.” And no, I don’t mean this as I practice Wicca or have a bad temper. I don’t practice any religion, and I think my temper is one of the few things I
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Wildflowers
July 13, 2020
It was a sight for sore eyes. Though I didn’t mind growing up near the train tracks. The sound of a train passing was hardly noticeable to me, since I was raised there and was so used it. But I remember when my Uncle visited from Virginia or a friend slept over they said they
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