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Dear Uncle Dennis
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Big Island: Manta Rays, Meth and Waterfalls
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Ghosted
July 7, 2024
The phenomenon of “ghosting” is symptom of dating apps, though I’m sure it happened before our lives became tech riddled, just not as often. I’ve been ghosted plenty times in the dating world. In some regard, that’s the normal way to blow someone off, is to just not respond. And even I think it’s somewhat
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Misery
June 24, 2024
It’s crazy how fast we heal as children, with almost Wolverine like powers. One day you’ll have a cut, the next it’s gone. Nowadays, even a mosquito bite I scratch off will take much longer to heal, much to my dismay. And since it’s summer, it’s rare I’ll go even a few days without getting
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Oh New York, New York
June 17, 2024
My days have been far from usual, even the usual ones. And I admit I spend far too much time sleeping, though I justify it by telling myself that if I’m sleeping, I’m not spending money. Additionally, sleep is one of the big factors of looking young, as our bodies do most their healing when
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And I’d Kill For A Woman
June 8, 2024
A panhandler enters the subway car. Looking basically as you’d expect. My nose is in a book and I pretend to ignore him, but I listen to his announcement. “I love black people. I love white people. I love asians and Spanish people. I love muslims and christians and jews. Everyone has a place here.
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Escape
June 3, 2024
“Where are you? Where am I? When are we gonna escape? Say now, say now, say now, say now, say now…” From “Don’t Let Me Fall Behind” — Jukebox the Ghost I wake up floating on a pool float as the sun rises, birds chirping. There’s a towel over me. I’m confused how I
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Do Not Use Hertz Rental
May 31, 2024
Renting a car has gotten astronomically expensive— I mean, EVERYTHING has gotten more expensive, I spend far too many minutes a day wondering how anyone even affords living in country and planning on marrying a foreigner for duel citizenship so I can leave this country when it inevitably sinks. But that’s a rant for another
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The Childless Woman
May 21, 2024
To be honest, like every other 30s woman on the planet who doesn’t have kids, I’m pretty sick and tired of the bullshit coming from both sides. Either it’s from one side telling us we’re selfish and unfulfilled, or you have another side mocking mothers preaching that we are constantly living our best lives without
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P is for Pineapple
May 20, 2024
Pineapples take two to three years to grow. Which is crazy because you could plant a pineapple, have sex, get pregnant, have a kid and by the time the kid is old enough to say “pineapple,” the pineapple you planted the day you had sex to make life is ready to eat. Let me tell
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Scoot Scoot
May 11, 2024
One evening, I went for a run and got brutally murdered. In fact, we are all dead and living in a purgatory like the predictable ending of “Lost.” Just kidding. I’m pretty sure, anyway. Not about the running at night part though. Which I maybe shouldn’t do. I especially shouldn’t run at night with my
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Fantasy
May 3, 2024
One time, I was dating this younger guy and I asked him if he had any sex fantasies. He paused for a moment, thought about it and said, “um, no.” Aghast, but trying to keep my face from showing disappointment in this ho-hum answer, I pressed further. Perhaps he was being coy… “no fantasies whatsoever,
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