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An Addictive Drug
December 2, 2018
I’d be quick to defend marijuana over alcohol. Alcohol is a much more toxic drug, responsible for an alarming amount of deaths while pot is more responsible of people not leaving their houses to watch Netflix and eat ice cream and while the latter is lazy, it’s certainly better than delirium tremens. The government is
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And Now They Know Your Name
November 25, 2018
“Hi Lori! Are you happy?” Confused, “um… I dunno. Am I supposed to be?” “You’re so funny! I’m still laughing at your jokes. You must be so happy if you’re that funny.” Clearly this woman has never known comedians. We’re the not a cheery bunch. I know more comedians who are medicated for depression than
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Skinny
November 19, 2018
It wasn’t like I wasn’t aware that I had been skipping meals, or even when I did eat, my stomach would go into knots, cramping and making me nauseous, half wishing I hadn’t eaten at all (although not eating also leads to nausea, so it’s a lose-lose situation). Depression never led me to “eat my
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Drunk. Mess.
November 10, 2018
Sometime around this time last year, I got on the subway late at night after a gig. Music blasting in my headphones. To be honest, I don’t know how anyone tolerated the subway pre-headphones. One time I thought a guy was going to stab me because I told him not to play his music on
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Pirate Not Princess
November 3, 2018
It had been a month since my good friend Katrina moved to my neighborhood and we’d yet to really hang out and still I haven’t seen her new apartment. On Halloween, I was bent on nothing else besides getting out of Manhattan. Too many drunk amateurs. “I would go out in our neighborhood,” I suggested
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Oh Baby, It’s All About The Moon
October 29, 2018
“No, the moon ain’t romantic, it’s intimidating as hell.” — Tom Waits It wasn’t a particularly long day, though it wasn’t a particularly good one either, by my standards or yours. A regular shift. The same checklist. Things will change. Maybe for better, maybe for worse. But if there’s one thing that’s always in my
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Sometimes In The Fall
October 23, 2018
My mother thinks I insist on doing these things alone. I don’t. But when you come home on a Thursday night, knowing you have a no work on Friday, day job or comedy gigs, and you check the weather, and it’s near the end of October, but tomorrow, tomorrow the sun will shine, the temperature
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Are You Happy?
October 15, 2018
Like most kids nowadays, my nephew is spoiled. When small toys or pieces of candy are used in what’s supposed to be a rewards system, I’m unsure who is actually in control; his mother (my sister) or him. The game is appeasement is a tricky one. Who’s bribing who? Tantrums are to be expected. In
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Decor
October 10, 2018
“I bought fake spider webs to decorate my windows for Halloween.” “I cannot picture you being the type to decorate for holidays,” this is coming from one of my closest friends. “I actually love decorating.” And thus, in the middle of the night, I made a giant spider out of black card board to accompany
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Boardshorts & Butts
September 29, 2018
More than one of my brothers former girlfriends have complained to me about some obligation he was blowing off— maybe it was a BBQ her family was having or a communion or something of that nature— because he was going surfing instead. It perplexed me, always, why his girlfriends thought they were gaining something by
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