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Mediator
September 12, 2017
It’s not a role I signed up for. Or even one I necessarily enjoy. But I guess every family or group of friends has one. The person you call for advice or to vent for some clarity. I’m not sure how I became the family mediator. Probably, I fell into it, when I was very
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HYPOCHONDRIAC
September 3, 2017
It must be hereditary. Maybe it’s a side effect of my parents OCD/anal retentiveness. Though my folks are hardly hypochondriac’s. And if you asked me, I’d say my sister should be far more concerned about germs and disease (actually, my sister once told me I was really bumming her out when I ranted about the
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Tired
August 28, 2017
When I was in high school, I was surprised to be nominated in the senior superlatives as both “class clown” and “most likely to fall asleep in class.” I was equally shocked about both nominations. Was I hilarious in class while I was sleeping? I certainly wasn’t a class clown. Most people I went to
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Nobody (Maybe)
August 19, 2017
Maybe you were a nobody once, and maybe that’s how you liked it. For an introverted wallflower, it was the dream. Being a nobody wasn’t easy, make no mistake. It took work to go unnoticed. Maybe the fact that you were small, non-threatening, and quiet helped to be a nobody. And as you got a
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COVERED
August 12, 2017
While I would likely be the first to tell you the original is better than the remake, and the book is better than the movie, there are times when reboots/remakes/different versions are at least as good if not better than the original work of art. Here are some song covers that I LOVE, in no
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The Times I Should Have Quit Comedy
August 6, 2017
THE FIRST TIME I TRIED IT Ah, yes, that first high. My first show went surprisingly great. I did a bringer show at Stand-Up NY, inviting limited friends (in case I bombed I didn’t want a lot of people knowing/witnessing). A born adrenaline junky, I was always seeking ways to feed the Id with pleasure.
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Special
July 29, 2017
“I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.” ― Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum “What are you writing?” A middle aged man with a sun burn, wearing a suit, presumably
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Cigarette
July 24, 2017
A waitress crouches in a dirty New York City alley to light her cigarette. It’s hot. She wipes beads of sweat from her forehead as she takes a drag. She’s about my age. Dark hair. Light eyes. Pretty. I wanted to be her. Not overall. No, not at all. I rarely want to be anyone
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Drained
July 17, 2017
Sand plus long hair clogs a drain like a motherfucker. And every so often, you can find me, with a makeshift snake from a wire hanger I was saving for a home abortion (a joke, relax), hunched over my tub, pulling black globs of hair and just disgusting shit out of my tub drain. Gagging,
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OKAY
July 9, 2017
A year ago, I was in Iceland marveling at some of the best this naturally stunning world has to offer. The dreamscape imagery, taste of glacial water, and memories of that trip do not seem long ago, and yet the feels of serenity, present mindfulness, and receptiveness to gratitude seem very far. The greatest drug
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