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Rock In Ear
January 8, 2017
My Mother was looking into my kid brother’s ear with an Otoscope. Mitch had been complaining about ear pain. He was in elementary school at the time. Much to my Mother’s surprise, there was a rock wedged in his ear canal. “How did a rock get in your ear?!” Though, the answer was obvious. “Someone
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2016: A Deal with the Devil, One Perfect Sky & A Dangling Carrot
December 31, 2016
Few people seem to mourn the end of 2016. Maybe 2016 was an especially shitty year (it was), or maybe we’re all just getting older, and life sucks a little more each year (God, I hope not). It hasn’t been all bad… in fact, quite a bit of good happened, sprinkled in with some great.
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Blue Christmas
December 24, 2016
Christmas time is a dark time of year. I mean that literally. It’s the darkest time of the year. The days are short. You barely see sunlight because you’re stuck in an office during the day, thinking about the past year, questioning all your life decisions, inviting regret and guilt into your psyche as you
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Vienna
December 18, 2016
“Can you stop that?” a crotchety old woman seated in front of us yelled at my over zealous best friend for cheering too enthusiastically at the Billy Joel concert. In her defense, we were properly liquored up, and being very loud. In our defense, we weren’t the only drunk and loud people in Madison Square
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Kill! Fuck! Marry! WESTWORLD Edition
December 11, 2016
Ah, yes, it’s every one’s favorite “passing the time on this long ass car ride” game. This is the Westworld edition. Warning! Spoilers! After watching the season finale last week, I stayed up till nearly 3am just thinking, and reading a book, to keep my mind from thinking. Goddamnit, the Westworld series finale is one
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Dependent
December 4, 2016
Whenever a friend, or stranger, has told me they’re on medication for depression, I have never judged them. The opposite is true, actually. Their decision to get a grip on the darkness that comes with depression is admirable. And yet, the idea of ME taking medication for depression was out the question. See, I’m the
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The Facebook Lie
November 27, 2016
This is a conversation I hear all the time. A conversation I’ve both been a part of and observed. A conversation that lifts the veil of Facebook: “I’m/he/she isn’t really doing well at all.” “You/he/she seems like they’re killing it on Facebook.” “Yeah, well, that’s Facebook.” As a comic, Facebook is a promotional tool. So
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Job Opportunity
November 19, 2016
Anyone who knows me very well knows, I’m almost always on the verge of quitting comedy (particularly this year) and running off to an island, teaching English to impoverished kids or something like that. Whether or not these are empty threats depends entirely on which version of me you’re talking to. I’m not alone in
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What You Wish For
November 14, 2016
I didn’t want to write a blog this week. Ipso facto, why this one is a bit tardy. I didn’t want to write about how I didn’t vote, because I’m as cynical as one can get about the political game. I didn’t want to defend my decision not to partake in an election I regard
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Teddy
November 5, 2016
Teddy was a hamster. But Teddy was also a lot more than a mere adorable rodent. Teddy was a class pet in my third grade class. Every week, there was a lottery to determine who got to take Teddy home for the weekend. My family never really had pets growing up. We never had a
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