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THINGS SANTA DIDN’T GET ME
December 26, 2023
Despite my repeated letters and being an absolute angel of a human (this is still under review, and being a “good” person is kind of a sliding scale anyway), I did NOT get the main things I wanted for Christmas. It’s like Santa might not even be real or something. Because the things I asked
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FOMS
December 16, 2023
We’ve all heard of FOMO (fear of missing out) unless you are a true hermit who avoids the internet and are probably a lot happier than the rest of us who scroll and yearn and create avatars of ourselves because the only thing we fear more than missing out on things is our true selves—
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Abandoned Places
December 10, 2023
My 2023 wall calendar (yes, I still keep one of those) was that of pictures of abandoned places, beautiful ones, like old buildings, churches, barn, ruins covered in colored leaves, accompanied by quotes of famous writers of the macabre like Edgar Allan Poe or Mary Shelley. What makes an abandoned place so attractive? Pictures of
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All I Want For Christmas Is… Tape?
December 1, 2023
I have always loved Christmas. I think people who hate Christmas probably just really hate their families. But I happen to love my exceptionally large (often too loud and out of their goddamn minds) family. Of course, as a kid, I loved the gift part too. But now, I actually prefer giving gifts to receiving
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The True Gateway Drug
November 27, 2023
Marijuana often gets a bad wrap as the “gateway” drug. Though, I think the stigma that people who try, or even smoke weed regularly, are going to turn into heroin addicts is pretty much an urban legend that’s fallen by the wayside. I would say that alcohol is truly the gateway drug. Booze was my
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In Defense of Florida
November 20, 2023
Personality type INTP tend to be true neutrals. True neutrals, like myself, are neither good nor evil. Our empathy matches our lack of sympathy. Our judgement isn’t quick to side, until we’ve heard and considered every angle. While this is a quality to be admired, it sometimes drives people crazy. I have friends who hate
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Hey Aliens… You Up?
November 7, 2023
Last year, NASA had proposed sending nudes into space… you know… for science. What a classic excuse. It was inevitably turned down, which is probably for the best. But if there’s anything we’ve learned, it’s that even the geniuses of this planet are perverts, and not just everyone in show business. Personally, I just don’t
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Swim Naked
November 2, 2023
Running on the beach is one of my favorite things to do. Back when I lived on the South Shore of Long Island, in my childhood home, where we lived closed to the Robert Moses bridge, I used to frequently run on the beach. I don’t think I was ever in better shape. Often, I
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Is There A Ghost In My House?
October 30, 2023
I have no proof. I have nothing but a weird happening. But my siblings and I all had weird occurrences in the house we grew up in. I am not saying it’s ghosts. I’m saying, it’s weird and I don’t know what it is. Kids say weird shit and they have crazy brains. So all
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The Driver. The Spider. The Pedestrian.
October 21, 2023
The driver swerved towards a pedestrian on the side of the road, before swerving away from the pedestrian. The pedestrian, went from oblivious to afraid, to angry, then finally relieved. The driver, now poorly pulled over, had the drivers door open, kicking the door. What sort of madness was going on with this young woman.
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