How Game Of Thrones Debunks Marriage

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• April 25, 2015

“Do you know what the realm is? It’s the thousand blades of Aegon’s enemies, a story we agree to tell each other over and over, until we forget that it’s a lie.” – Petyr Baelish

HBO’s Game of Thrones has made Medieval Fantasy not just for huge nerds.  It’s sexy, smart, and bloody as all hell.  While it is fantasy (obviously, I mean, there are dragons), there’s truth within the fiction.

Much like the real middle ages, a marriage is a sacred bond which binds two families for life, sharing wealth and expanding empires.  Throughout history, daughters of royalty were married off to other rich and powerful families.  Thus, making the powerful more powerful.  Love wasn’t in the equation.  It was a bonus if the chick was hot, but that didn’t really matter either.  Your happiness was not important.  Marriage, in history and Game of Thrones, is used as a strategy in the game of power.  As a woman, you’re really getting the worst part of the deal.   You’re going to have really bad sex on your wedding night.  And your whole life is probably going to suck.

Marriage in today’s world is on a rapid decline (not rapidly enough, if you ask me).  Statistically, your marriage is not going to work out.  Most fail.  From what I can tell, even those who stick it out aren’t really too thrilled either, so don’t see a divorce as failure as much as accepting the inevitable.  When we will accept that we are not meant to be monogamous creatures?  I’ll stop myself before I digress.

In Game of Thrones, no one even questions that fact that if this powerful dude is married and fucking this girl with a good last name, then they effectively double their land and power.  No one raises their hand and asks why some little prick should decide what’s best for others because he’s born into it rather than someone who might actually be smart.  It’s accepted throughout Westero’s, just as it was once accepted in our history.  No one speaks out against the fact that it’s total bull shit.

Why?

Religion.

Much like actual history, marriage is sacred in the eyes of God(s).  Breaking that vow is punishable by eternal damnation.  Sure, you might not love the man your family forced you to marry, selling you like a pig, to be essentially date raped by your so called “husband,” but is it worse than Hell?

Somewhere along the way, someone decided to use the fear of the God(s) to make marriages legit as fuck.  I imagine the real life version of this person to be someone like Peyter Baelish (my favorite GOT character), conniving, smart, pretty evil, and willing to manipulate everyone around him for shits and giggles and personal gain.  The sanctity of marriage is made up for the means of power.

Nowadays, this is still true to a degree.  As a young single woman, my family constantly encourages me to marry a doctor, or a lawyer.  What’s his is mine!  Marry rich and poison him slowly to death!  Muhahahaha!  I digress, again.

Maybe you still believe marriage is sacred in the eyes of some deity.  In which case, I can’t help you.  We exist in two entirely different worlds.  No matter who you marry, you’re not inheriting a throne.  And hopefully, your family isn’t pressuring you to marry a fucking creep.  If marriage was a power play for the wealthy which was disciplined and enforced by the fear of God, why then do we still do it?

We like to think marriage is about love.  We marry “the one.”  People convince themselves of this, but it’s hardly why most people marry.  Most people marry because it’s the next “phase” of life.  It’s what your “supposed to do” as a proper member of society.  People fear being alone more than they fear being trapped in an unhealthy relationship.  Even if the marriage is good at the start, people  grow, and sometimes good people can grow away from each other.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It’s part of life.  But people really lose their shit when they are not received by someone whom they care deeply about.  It’s not their fault and it’s not your fault.  Sometimes, you’re going to meet people who are special to you, and they’re never going to reciprocate that love.  The same is going to happen to you.  Someone is going to think you’re the greatest person who ever lived, and not only are you going to think they’re wrong, but you’re going to feel like an android towards them.  People settle.  People justify a bad marriage by saying good relationships are a “compromise.”  When, really, it’s just fear of being alone.

If you read my blog, then you know I’m blaspheming atheist, but let’s say that there is a God who created the Earth and people.  Most people marry young.  As we all know, young people are generally pretty stupid, even when they’re pretty smart.  We also know that very few people are the same person at the age of 30 than they were at the age of 20.  So maybe the young couple was damned from the start, or maybe they grew apart.  I don’t know, nor do I really give a shit why your relationship didn’t pan out.  But why would an all knowing Creator want you to stay in a relationship that decreases your quality of life?  Wouldn’t he understand that we are horny and stupid creatures?  Wouldn’t he understand that love isn’t fluid, it’s more of a riptide, and sometimes you’re in tandem and sometimes you’re not?  Does anyone still believe in the smiting Old Testament God?  Again, I can’t help you if you do.

Marriage isn’t about power or love, and no God(s), new or old, give a shit about how your husband is lazy, or how your wife overreacts about trivial things.  You don’t have to be married to be good parents.  Marriage is really a meaningless tradition we carry on, pretending it has some great meaning.

But perhaps, Game of Thrones, isn’t the best example.  The best example of the ridiculousness of marrying for land, and the ridiculousness of true love comes from my favorite Medieval Story, Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! You’re not going into a song while I’m here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you’re getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
HERBERT: B– but I don’t want land.
FATHER: Listen, Alice,–
HERBERT: Herbert.
FATHER: ‘Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
HERBERT: But– but I don’t like her.
FATHER: Don’t like her?! What’s wrong with her?! She’s beautiful. She’s rich. She’s got huge… tracts o’ land!
HERBERT: I know, but I want the– the girl that I marry to have…
[music]
…a certain,… special… something!
FATHER: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you’re marrying Princess Lucky, so you’d better get used to the idea!