So I Got My Dad An Inappropriate Birthday Present

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• February 23, 2023

In so many ways, like father like daughter. It’s true enough that with his dry wit and nonsense humor, he could have been the comedian— not me. And when it comes to having wretched sinuses, filled with polyps and easily  triggered allergies by pollen and animals, I inherited his bad qualities along with his good ones. It’s a pretty safe bet that whatever my father goes through medically, I will likely go through at some point in my life.

Because my father and I empathize with each other when it comes to nerd breathing issues, we share our scientific data on what is most helpful for our mucus filled faces. My Dad is quick to hand me a Costco pack of Flonase or saline sprays.

My Dad’s twin sister and my Godmother, Aunt Nancy, is in the same boat as us. For Christmas, I gifted Aunt Nancy these menthol, essential oil fused shower steamers. I had been experimenting with different brands of the shower steamers. You just put the steamers by your feet in the shower and let the aroma filled steam engulf you in a breathable heaven. It’s very rare I can fully breath through both nostrils. And what a treat it is. You nose breathers… you have no idea how good you have it!

Continuing my near crippling Amazon addiction (I’ve been better this year, I’ve been actively trying to curb my late night ‘click away’ Amazon habit since I have some debts to pay), I ordered a box of highly rated shower steamers that I had planned to gift to my father for his birthday in March. When the box came, I didn’t exactly read what it said, I just put it in my closet to save it for when his birthday was nearer.

Then, upon my most recent trip to Florida where I would bring my nephew and niece for their February break, I decided I’d give my dad his gift early since I’d be down there. As I was going to wrap it, I realized it said in script on the box, “The Best gift, To the one you love the most.”

Errrrr… that seems like a pretty inappropriate thing to give to your Dad. Almost like that scene in Elf, where Buddy gives his Dad lingerie, not knowing what it was in his naivete, because the store sign said it was “a gift for that special someone.” The steamers weren’t particularly cheap and I really do think they would help his breathing, so I was like, “ah, I’ll give it to him and we’ll have a good laugh about it.”

Luckily, I decided to read the directions on the back of the box. And it says, “tease your senses…” Well, I didn’t have to read beyond that to decide that I would keep these steamers and have to find a different brand for my Dad. Sure, my Dad is one of the people I love most in this world and I care about his health and quality of life. Though let this be yet another lesson in impulse Amazon buying, and it’s dangers— which somehow includes accidentally buying your Dad an inappropriate birthday gift.