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How To Be Happy
In the musical “Rent,” if you’re not familiar, there is a song called, “Seasons of Love.” The lyric says, Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes, How do you measure a year?
Sure, this is a lyric from a rock musical about AIDS, but it brings up a good point. How does one measure a year? I remember times when I was at a job, or someplace else I didn’t want to be, literally watching the hands on a clock, tick-tick away. And I’ve thought to myself, these are the moments of your life, passing by. Your time is finite. You are going to die, you’re already dying. How do I measure my life?
Stage time, surfing, time spent with family, chilling with friends, football games… I suppose one’s life is simply measured by what they look forward to. The times they will be happy. For me, my life will always be measured by my success and my measurement of success will probably always be how few panic attacks I have. I won’t jinx September, because there’s still time left, but it has been a panic attack free month (May was the only other panic attack free month this year… so far).
I’ve just come off of a high phase (not high like on drugs, though that too sometimes). For two weeks, I was happy as shit. I was singing, and dancing on subway platforms, laughing in traffic, smiling in New York City, like only the tourists and the retards do. I made some changes, and they are working in my favor. I knew it would not last. It never does. But I allowed myself to just be there.
“What remains of your past if you didn’t allow yourself to feel it when it happened? If you don’t have your experiences in the moment, if you gloss them over with jokes or zoom past them, you end up with curiously dispassionate memories.” – from David Rackoff’s, Fraud
I’m still doing very well, and I’m content, I’m just off of cloud nine and a bit more grounded in reality again. But I’d like to map out some ways that could help you (and more likely me when I’m in a dreaded down phase in the not too distant future).
HOW TO BE HAPPY:
1. SLEEP
I really can’t stress enough how important sleep is. I have a very busy life, and I’m able to function with little sleep. I like to stay up late and write, and get up early and run, then work, do stand-up, and on occasion party. I keep track of how much sleep I get though. After three nights of little sleep, it’s so important I find a way to get a full nights sleep in there. I get especially crazy without sleep.
2. GET RID OF TOXIC PEOPLE
This is a tricky one. Because there will always be toxic people in your life. Sometimes they’re your family, or your co-worker. They are every where. But that doesn’t mean you have to be their best friend, or go to bed with them. Wherever you can, get rid of toxic people. They bring you down. You don’t need them.
3. FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE
It’s different for all, but my two favorite happy places are the beach and the movies. When I’m feeling blue, going to the beach or the movies helps me so much. Even moving to Queens, I will drive an hour just to get to the beach and it comforts me so much.
4. GET DRUNK AND DANCE
Okay, this might not be the best advice for all people (especially if you’re an alcoholic). For those family and close friends who know me, know the Groove. The Groove is a force not to be reckoned with. I love getting hammered and dancing like a total idiot. It totally refreshes me. It’s freeing, and it’s fun.
5. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FUCK UP
Okay, this is another dicey one. But I’m so obsessed with doing everything perfectly, that sometimes the best course of action is to fuck it up. Then you realize that your failure was not so bad. Inbetween my high phase and my down phase, I was self destructing a little bit. It allowed me to get where I needed to be though. In a weird way, it helped to make bad decisions.
6. EXERCISE
Holy shit, this is a big one. Exercising is scientifically proven (by science) to release endorphins. I love exercising. It clears my head. Going for a run or surfing in the morning improves my entire day. Or if I’m frustrated. Sweat it out.
7. EAT HEALTHY
This is also super important. I used to be the most unhealthy person. There was a time in my life, where literally, everyday, I would eat bacon in the morning, pizza and/or a bacon cheeseburger, and multiple helpings of ice cream. I had a freak metabolism and couldn’t gain a pound, but my cholesterol was close to 300 (yikes!). I became healthy by slowly weaning bad foods out of my diet. There are few things we get to control in our life. One of them is what you put in your body. Choose wisely.
8. DO YOUR DISHES/LAUNDRY
My OCD might be shining through a little bit here. I love a clean apartment. When things are in their place, I can think more clearly. Don’t let dishes or laundry build up. Stay on top of it. It will reduce stress ultimately. Don’t put off doing it.
9. DO WHAT YOU FEAR
Fear sucks. It ruins you. It’s like a goddamn disease, it grows inside you and eats you. Don’t let it. If you’re afraid of something, do it. Pretend you’re not afraid. Pretend you’re not afraid until you’re not afraid anymore.
10. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
I don’t mean following your dreams of becoming a writer, or a whatever (though you should do that too). I mean, literally, follow your dreams. Some people don’t remember their dreams. I usually do. Actually, I’m a frequent lucid dreamer. Lucid dreams don’t teach me much though. But your dreams are a good way of your subconscious talking to you. Interpret them. You can’t be wrong. They are your dreams, and they can really help you. I’ve had intense stress dreams that made me wake up shaking and sweating. Then, I’ve had some beautiful dreams that have made me shed tears of joy.
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that happiness comes from within yourself. At this stage in my life, I have more questions than answers. Not too long ago, I saw a shooting star. I remember how excited I got when I was a kid to see a shooting star, so I could make a wish. And I always wished for things. A new surf board. To get an A on a test. To marry Johnny Depp. But this time, I just wished to be happy. That’s a good start, I think.
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