Swim Naked

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• November 2, 2023

Running on the beach is one of my favorite things to do. Back when I lived on the South Shore of Long Island, in my childhood home, where we lived closed to the Robert Moses bridge, I used to frequently run on the beach. I don’t think I was ever in better shape.

Often, I liked to run from Field 2 all the way around to the inlet. Here, miles away from other people, I’d take off my clothes and skinny dip in the water. One time, I even skinny dipped with dolphins (true story!).

Simply, I love taking off my clothes and swimming in a body of water. Just not in front of other people. Dolphins, of course, after all they are naked too! Even though I spend a lot of my summer at Cherry Grove on Fire Island where clothing is optional at the beach, I do not sun bathe or swim in the nude around others. But the instant I’m away from people, I’ll be taking off my clothes and yelling like a mammal, blissfully swimming the way we were supposed to— butt naked.

It’s not just the ocean. If I find a waterfall hiking and I manage to escape other hikers, I strip down and shower like a nymph in a divine shower. If I’ve access to a house with a pool and I know no one else will come, I’ll be naked in this pool.

I don’t want people watching me. Unless they’re paying me! I’m kidding. I think.

Surfing, of course, I’d never do naked because I’d get a wicked board rash. But pretty much whenever I see blue water I want to dive in, preferably without clothes. It’s a primal urge there is no satisfying until it is satisfied. Free, at last.

Sometimes on beach runs, I wonder how far I will have to run to be away from fellow humans, so I can fulfill my dream of being a nudist. There have been some slip ups. There have been times I was doing a dead man float in the sea, all naked, and suddenly a boat comes by. At first, I feel kind of embarrassed, until I remember that the people on the boat, especially the men, but the woman too, would not be traumatized. In fact, it would be like spotting a rare sea creature. A siren. I’d given them a story they could tell. Still. I like my privacy so I can relax and let the ripples of the water take my worrying thoughts away, even for a little while.

If this seems odd to you, think of it like a baptism. Returning to Mother Ocean. Skin to water. And if you can’t recall the last time you skinny dipped, even if you are not skinny, especially in a natural body of water, the next time an opportunity presents itself, ditch the bathing suit and splash in your birthday suit. Just don’t get in trouble for indecent exposure. And if you should see me, don’t stare, you goddamn creeps.