Thankful

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• May 18, 2016

As I complete my 27th journey around the sun, I find I need to put my morose disposition on hold to be grateful.

On my last day as a 26 year old, I nursed (well, maybe not nursed) a vodka soda at the bar, waiting to go on stage, to perform for family, friends, and fans, at the Brokerage Comedy Club for the premiere of my pilot.  I wasn’t nervous about doing stand-up.  The pilot was something different.  To produce a full length pilot (with no budget) is time consuming.  It takes a tremendous amount of work, and there is really little pay off, besides having something to show people and say, “I made this! For the love of God, hire me as a writer!”

All the comics had killer sets on the stand-up portion, and despite the fact that I was liquored up and nervously running my hands through my hair for the first ever screening, “AKA Death” was well received.  I’m so happy and thankful for the amount of people who came out to support, and wish I didn’t let my insecurities overwhelm me, and just enjoyed it more.

I first and foremost have to thank and recognize John Trueson, who has been supporting me, and pushing me to be a better comic since I started.  As soon as we finished ‘AKA Death,’ he texted me about doing another one, and I was like, “OMG ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY THAT WAS SO MUCH WORK.”  But that’s just the type of person he is.  If it weren’t for Trueson, ‘AKA Death’ would be another script, saved on my computer, waiting patiently for a life it would probably never get.

Filming is extremely tedious, and I always feel guilty asking my fellow comics to be a part of something I produce, because I know it’s going to be a pain in the ass, and I know I’m going to be a pain in the ass.  But after read throughs, the cast/my friends were bugging me when we were going to start filming.  For that, I have to thank my always funny friends:  Dennis Rooney, Matt Burke, Bryan McKenna, Carmen Lynch, Dan Barry, Anthony DiDomenico, Rob Colletti, Katrina Reese, Joe Starr, Mick Thomas, and Kevin Sullivan.

Show business, as you may have heard, is a really shitty business.  I guess most businesses are.  It’s not fair.  It’s a strange world consumed by egos and fear.  I often want to quit the game.  I dream about disappearing to a quiet village, near a beach, where I can be alone, and write and surf all the time.  Business aside, I love the comedy community.  Comics are creative, independent thinkers, intelligent, and supportive.  I like watching comics on stage, I like talking to comics, I like being a comic.  Most comics are crazy people.  But I’ve never been so drawn to and fascinated by a subculture, perhaps it’s because their main deal is turning pain into laughter.  The Long Island comedy scene has been so good to me.  It’s become a place where I know I can always go for a good hang, and a meal.  It has all the warmth, and fucked-upness of a family, and I’m proud to be a part of that.  And there are so many comics who make my day if I run into them, I could list them, but it would be so long and boring.

I know a lot of comic’s who’s family are not supportive of their ludicrous dreams.  This is not the case with my family.  I actually feel bad about how much my parents believe in me, because I’m destined to disappoint them.  I’m from a family of LIRR workers, cops, and teachers.  This is a blue collar family.  They love unions.  They love a certain and safe future, and I have none of that.  While my family often does not understand the ways of show business (I also don’t understand the ways of show business.  Not sure anyone does.), they’re not breathing down my neck to get a real job.  They come to my shows.  They watch comedy all the time on TV, and text me to let me know they can’t wait to see me do a late night set, or get a gig writing for a sitcom, etc.  There’s a lot of lows in comedy, and it’s extremely lonely.  You often feel like you’re on your own, and hope weaves it’s way in and out of your life so frequently, you’re never sure if hope is a byproduct of delusion or an existing light at the end of the tunnel.  To have a family who really supports you is tremendous, and I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for having a passion, and the insanity to pursue it.  I’m thankful for comedians, who, are the last true soldiers in the battle for free speech.  Honesty is not a quality beloved by the masses, or even most your co-workers, friends, and family.  I’ve learned this the hard way.  But for comedians, there’s no bull shit, and I love them for it.  I’m thankful for my parents, who are also two of my best friends.  Mom and Dad have a sick sense of humor, I’d be nothing without them, as well as my brother and sister, and super adorable nephew, who has such a sunny disposition.  Anthony, I hope you never lose that.  My many Aunts and Uncles, and cousins, make me so happy I’m from a large family with a range of characters.  It’s a loud family, and because of this, I’ve learned to listen, and that most drama in people’s lives are because of false assumptions.  My cousins are my best friends, and always will be.  I’m thankful for my family who isn’t my family, like our tenant in our house growing up, Cathy.  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has such a tight relationship with their tenant.  To be honest, we were pretty rude kids, always inviting ourselves to her apartment downstairs without invitation.  My life long friends, Jimmy and Lauren, are two of the greatest people walking this planet, and any one who knows them agrees, and I get to be best friends with them.  Despite have many, shitty, low paying jobs, I’ve always had co-workers to laugh with to get through the day.  Even the worst jobs are better with good people.

For all the people who’ve come into my life as a friend, or a fan…  I am grateful.  I forget to say nice things to people a lot, probably because I’m a raging egoist.  And despite how much I generally don’t like people, there’s so many people who defy my very hatred for humanity.  Thanks for the support and kind words, blog readers.  I’m grateful for you too.  When you’re like me, resigned to a melancholy disposition, it’s important to create a life worth fighting for and surround yourself with people worth trying for.  And for that… I’m thankful.