The Facebook Lie

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• November 27, 2016

This is a conversation I hear all the time.  A conversation I’ve both been a part of and observed.  A conversation that lifts the veil of Facebook:

“I’m/he/she isn’t really doing well at all.”
“You/he/she seems like they’re killing it on Facebook.”
“Yeah, well, that’s Facebook.”

As a comic, Facebook is a promotional tool.  So it’s smart to advertise your product (you).  Comedy maybe a bit of an exception, but pretty much every comic I talk to who seems like they’re doing very well on social media are very frustrated and dejected in real life.  I expect this of comics.  My Facebook is certainly not entirely sincere.  And I post about being depressed more than most.  These posts are in jest, but there is truth in them, because I know no other way to fight depression than to mock it.  People sometimes reach out to me, and tell me they’re worried about my well being, and upon further inspection of their lives, despite my dreary posts, I’m actually a lot happier.

It doesn’t surprise me people’s lives on Facebook are a lie.  It has though, on occasion, surprised me when I find out certain individuals are struggling.  Because I bought their lie.  I wanted to believe they were as happy as they pretend to be.

This presents a dangerous epidemic.  Those of us who did not grow up with social media think we’re immune, but we’ve proven time and time again we are not.  Though, I am slightly more worried for the upcoming generations.

Think about magazine covers.  Anyone who knows even a little about the media knows those photographs are heavily photoshopped.  I’ve heard women empowerment groups lash out against these shoots, as they literally present an impossible body standard.  I’m not so harsh.  I think what they’re doing is fine, but the public needs to be educated in the lies of advertising.  It is imperative for humans to understand the fiction fed to them by the media on all accounts.

We get angry with the media, which seems fair, but aren’t we just as guilty?  Aren’t we advertising a false example of our lives all the time on social media?  Of course we are.  I’m guilty of it too.  Make no mistake.  This is okay.  It’s fine, really.  You don’t want to show off your failures, shortcomings, bad days, poor decisions, etc.  I get it.  It’s like when you die. When you die, people mostly only talk about how great you were.  All the positives.  Which is also fine (except with me.  When I die, remind people I was a monster.  A hilarious monster who wrote great jokes and screenplays).  Your Facebook feed is a highlight reel.  It’s the moments you want to remember and want to be remembered for (except with me. There are plenty of things I’d rather forget but I don’t think I should).  Facebook has become a reminder for yourself that you have a great life, albeit, a not so honest one.  Therein lies the danger: as you simply cannot live up to your false, plastic-smile self.

What we all have to remember, is that every one else’s Facebook isn’t a proper reflection of their life.   They are hurting behind the scenes too.  Every single person is battling demons of some sort.  This means two things when you’re browsing your Facebook feed: don’t assume they are all living a better/more fulfilling life than you are and more importantly, don’t compare yourself.  Because you’ll only be comparing all of your shit with their “best of” reel, and you will feel like shit.

From Howard Beale (Network):

“So, you listen to me. Listen to me: Television is not the truth! Television is a God-damned amusement park! Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, side-show freaks, lion tamers, and football players. We’re in the boredom-killing business! So if you want the truth… Go to God! Go to your gurus! Go to yourselves! Because that’s the only place you’re ever going to find any real truth.”