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TV Characters That Made Me Want To Write For TV
10. Lisa Simpson
A kid in a loving, but screwed up family that is a smart dork with quick wit, and a bit of an artsy snob? Of course I related to Lisa Simpson from a young age. I’m like a not as smart, from an even more dysfunctional family, grown up version of Lisa Simpson. Lisa Simpson is the original hipster, when hipsters were likable and not cool.
Lisa: This award is the biggest farce I ever saw!
Bart: What about the Emmys?
Lisa: I stand corrected.
9. Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox from Scrubs is the love of my life. When I think of what my ideal soul mate would be, it would be a super cynical, asshole doctor. And angry. I love angry. Of course, his rants were written by writers in a writing room, and I’d love to be the person to put such mean/hilarious words in his mouth. And maybe kiss his mouth also.
“You know, the only way you could be more useless right now is if you actually were the wall. Now, it certainly is true that you’d at least be serving a purpose – specifically a surface for a jackass to lean against – but it could be argued that this is more useless than doing nothing.” – Dr.Cox
8. Elaine Benes
If I could only watch one sitcom the rest of my life, and it was Seinfeld, I’d probably be okay with that. While all the Seinfeld characters are perfect, Elaine Benes is my favorite. She’s one of the dudes. A comic once compared me to Elaine, and even though Elaine is a terrible person at heart, it was one of my favorite compliments.
“Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to hell. ” – Elaine Benes
7. Dr. House
Second to Dr. Cox, another super cynical, asshole, atheist doctor I want to marry is Dr. House. A Sherlock Holmes based character, who’s a genius and a drug addict? Yes, please. At some point I fell off watching House because of it’s redundancy, but for a while it was my favorite show, making House one of my all time favorite characters.
Rebecca: I just want to die with a little dignity.
House: There’s no such thing. Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re ninety, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass, its always ugly. Always! You can live with dignity, you can’t die with it.
6. Chloe O’Brian
(best annoyed faces on TV)
I started binge watching 24 when I was home sick with strep throat. I became so invested in the show that I would tell my friends I was still sick because I’d rather stay home and watch 24 than go out with them. Then, of course, I caught up to the show, and had to wait a week for a new hour, which is worse than being tortured by Jack Bauer. While I love Jack, and all his torturing antics, I have always said that if they killed Chloe, I’m out. Chloe is Jack’s girl. Smart and badass, and plenty of hilarious facial expressions.
Tony Almeida: There’s a program for that?Chloe O’Brian: No, so I wrote one for it.
5. Squidward
Why Squidward? He’s the ultimate straight man. A failed artist, working a shit job, and his neighbors are two mildly retarded sea creatures that are infinitely happier than he has or ever will be. Without Squidward, Spongebob would not be a tolerable show to watch. He’s the ultimate proof that people who take themselves too seriously and are miserable are hilarious. That’s why Squidward makes the list.
“Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why-hy-hy-hy?” – Squidward
4. Scully
Dana Scully is the only television character to see the weirdest shit imaginable and then still be cynical towards everything that her partner Mulder says. If you haven’t seen X-Files, you have some Netflix binging to do. Scully was probably bat shit insane, because as she dissects a dead person alone, she’s killing it with dry one liners.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: After all you’ve seen, you can just walk away?
Special Agent Dana Scully: I have. I did. It’s done.
3. Gob
Picking just one character from Arrested Development was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The whole ensemble is fucking brilliant. But Gob’s an egotistical idiot, and Will Arnett plays the character so perfectly, it’s almost impossible for me not to laugh at everything he says.
“Yeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn’t make that in four months. COME ON!” – Gob
2. Liz Lemon
Do I really need to explain this one? Tina Fey was became my idol as soon as she a weekend update anchor. 30 Rock is a super smart and funny sitcom about writing sitcoms. Of course I love 30 Rock. I worship Tina Fey.
“Just embrace the fact that you are lucky enough to be a happily married man. I mean, I’m actually jealous of you. You’ve got stability, a great marriage, devoted kids. You know what I have? A Sims family that keeps getting murdered.” – Liz Lemon
1. Bugs Bunny
As far as I’m concerned, Bugs Bunny is the king of all television characters. Bugs Bunny is the ultimate asshole, but he generally only fucks with other assholes. He’s clever, witty, and has a great time outsmarting others. I want to be like Bugs Bunny as a comic and a person.
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