When I Meet You

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• February 10, 2018

When I meet you the whole world will stop.  All the thoughts in my head, those never ending loops, they will cease.  There will just be you.  And I will fall in love when I meet you.

I know this before even meeting you, because it’s happened before when I met your brother.  How, suddenly, my heart swelled and I was overwhelmed with how quickly a child can affect your life.

When I meet you, I will hold you.  I will smell your head.  Kiss your face.  Kiss your belly.  Stroke the soles of your feet.  And when your little hand holds my pointer finger, I will be amazed at how tiny you are.  It always amazes me how small newborns are.  No matter how many times I cradle a newborn, or even if I see one in public, I always seem to forget just how small we are when we first come to existence.

When you meet me, you will look at me with a confused familiarity.  Because you will know, I am not your mother, but I look a lot like her.  A lot is going to confuse you, and I imagine, it must be quite scary to be a baby.  But you don’t have to be afraid, your mother loves you so much.  She will always be there for you.  Just as the rest of the family will be too.

And when you fall asleep upon my chest, my heartbeat will be a comfort for you, just as yours will be for me.  Everything will be so simple in that moment.  Clarity, if only fleeting, is such a feeling that makes everything else make sense.  You will make so many people happy.  You will be so loved.  You don’t even know it yet.  You don’t even know how much so many people love you already.

When I meet you, it will break my heart.  That you live in Florida and I live in New York.  So we won’t see each other a lot.  And every time I do see you, you will be bigger.  A constant reminder of how life moves fast.  Your mother and I, we had such good childhoods.  Our parents, your grandparents, they are going to be so great to you as they were for us.  You don’t know it yet, if you ever know it, how much you mean to us when we meet you.

Your brother, my nephew, I should warn you, is a real rascal.  You two will have so much fun together, albeit, I’m sure he will be an annoying older brother to you many times.  Ultimately, you will be close.  And when you’re older, he’ll beat up any guy that looks at you the wrong way.

Every stage of your life will bring new wonders.  Unfortunately, every stage of your life will also bring challenges and hardship. But you will never be alone.  Never alone.  We all swore our loyalty and undying love for you the moment we meet you.  You are our kin, and even in the future when you fuck up, and one day you will, that’ll be okay.  Because we’ve all fucked up (many times), and we’ll still love you anyway.

When I meet you, I’ll hope that you’ll grow to be brave, smart, and adventurous.  When I meet you I will want to be a better person.  Someone worthy enough for you to look up to.

Because when I meet you, my sweet tiny niece Charlotte, I will melt.  I will melt when I meet you.