Women Writers Writing

• Lori Palminteri
• Uncategorized
• April 8, 2022

A few years ago, I decided I would celebrate my 30th birthday with treating myself to a trip. Costa Rica was a place I had always dreamed of visiting, especially as a surfer. Doing a surf trip meant it would be easy to convince my best bro and actual brother, Mitch, to join me.

Costa Rica was the trip of a lifetime. Mitch and I surfed every day. We had adventures in the rainforest, on ATV’s discovering waterfalls and ruins, fed monkeys in a mangrove, saw sloths and crocodiles. Besides the day of food poisoning where we were both throwing up, it was the perfect holiday.

It was during this trip we met Lisa Martens, a fatalistic encounter turned into instant friendship. Lisa was staying at the same hostel as us. Lisa has roots in Costa Rica and New York. We quickly learned that we were both writers. Additionally, we are both talented humorist essay writers.

One night, my brother and I were going to roll a joint and we invited her to our room. Mitch and I had a private room at the hostel, however, we were sharing a king sized bed (haha) for the stay because that’s what was available. When she came to our room and after we smoked I got paranoid she would think we were weird because we were siblings sharing a bed on vacation. She didn’t think that’s why we were weird. There are plenty of other reasons why we’re weirdos (haha).

Lisa became our unofficial tour guide for the rest of our trip (and translator). And because she splits her time between New York and Costa Rica, we’ve managed to get together when she’s on the state side and bond over our mutual love for writing. Even though we’re of different cultures, it seems we see the world through a similar lens. That’s one of the gifts of traveling: making friends and learning just how alike you are to someone who is different from you.

She’s had some interesting jobs and leads a cool life. But I’ll let her tell you…

Q: When did you realize you were a talented writer and when did you know you wanted to make a career out of it?

Oh boy. This has a kind of depressing answer. When I was a kid, I had epilepsy, and it was looking rough for a bit. I started writing in part because I thought my life was going to be short. I didn’t think I would have a career at all. I didn’t think I would make it to adulthood. But I wrote every single day out of a kind of desperation to be seen and heard.

My aunt was the first person to tell me I was talented. She is a librarian! My mom and dad also wrote short stories and dabbled in writing novels, so I guess you can say we are all creative. They were and are always very supportive.

My epilepsy did subside by the time I was a teenager. I started to really consider a career in writing after graduate school. I had always written, but there was no real plan. I kind of didn’t think I would live this long, so the idea of a plan or a career is still foreign to me.

Q: How do you find writing work?

Mainly through friends, honestly. I have a friend who takes on too many gigs, and she will outsource to me when she’s overwhelmed. This can be email content, website content, or ads. And you recently referred me for a gig! Thank you!

I also used to write ads, and some of the people I met writing ads have become long-term clients.

Sometimes, people find me through Medium or Ko-Fi and hire me to edit or give feedback. Medium has been a great place to find new readers. I’m not super great at marketing myself or self-promoting, but it seems to work out.

Years ago, I started by posting ads on Craigslist. I edited college papers for nursing students who didn’t have time to read English lit assignments. It was a fun gig. That was over 10 years ago. Jeez.

Q: Tell us about your job working for dating apps.

Oh man. Well, I started my digital nomad life after graduate school. I got a job at OkCupid, and the position was remote. I had worked in tech before, so I was able to hit the ground running.

Yes, I saw dirty photos. And promptly removed them.

I think the most important piece of advice regarding online dating is to keep expectations low. Don’t hinge all your hopes on one person or spend forever chatting. Don’t engage in too much fantasy. Chat, meet for coffee, keep it light. Read the profiles. Don’t just look for the most handsome or the most wealthy person. Be honest with what you want and use the apps like a tool.

People engage in a lot of fantasy, or they spend a ton of time talking. It’s really better to stay down-to-earth, and maybe even be a little cynical. There are a lot of scammers out there looking to take advantage of the most natural desire we have: love. Oh, and use that report button, and don’t send anyone money, for the love of all that is holy.

Q: What’s the best part about being able to live/work in two locations? The worst part?

I split my time between the United States (usually the DC or NYC area) and Costa Rica. The best part is escaping the cold winter, of course. I would have said the worst part is trying to meet other digital nomads, but with the rise of remote work, this has become easier. Also, most digital nomads are men, and so that means as a straight woman, I have my pick!

Sometimes it is hard to build momentum in a place when I know I’m just going to leave. I have to do my best not to have a fatalist outlook. But at times, I miss the community feeling of being in a set home. I’m also a yoga instructor and dancer, and that helps me have a built-in community wherever I go. If you’re going to be a digital nomad, I recommend having some kind of hobby that helps you connect instantly to others…that isn’t just getting wasted, that is.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of drinking all the time as a digital nomad. Get creative. Really get to know a place. Develop healthy habits and hobbies. You’ll be glad you did.

Q: What did you think of Lori and Mitch when you met them?

I thought Mitch was hot, and I was trying to see what Lori was writing because I got the vibe that she was also a writer. No, I didn’t think it was weird that they were sharing a bed. I’m Latina. Our families share absolutely everything.

I remember Lori left first, and I had to help Mitch use a Costa Rican bank. I remember his debit card looked like a dog had chewed through it, and I thought, “this guy is gonna die here without my help.” I think I even got him an Uber to the airport.

I definitely felt like Lori and I had the same sense of humor. No surfing for me, though, I just float at sea like a content dolphin. But I admire anyone who can write a comedy sketch and surf a sick wave in the same day.

They were very different yet exactly the same.

Q: What are your future aspirations for yourself?

I’m still trying to process that I’m still alive and around. I think the kids call it trauma these days.

I want my books to do better, to sell better. My blog does better than my books. I will be releasing a physical book in the coming months called, “What You Deserve.” The e-book will be free in May.

For the longest time, I only sold e-books, but people really want physical copies again. We miss the sensation of holding a book.

I would love to be able to support myself solely through creative writing. Blogging. Novels. Maybe being hired to edit books or blog posts for other people.

Q: What moments as a writer gave you significant confident boosts? 

When I graduated with my MFA, I won the top prize in my graduating class. I had to give a speech and all that. I was actually really surprised. I almost didn’t submit my thesis for the award. I also enjoy readings…I will probably do more when I’m back in the city. Being on a stage and reading my work gives me a huge thrill. I love hearing people’s reactions…the groans, the laughter. I really miss that.

I was part of a reading series right before lockdown, and I didn’t get to read my short story. It’s kind of a bittersweet memory now. The story was about a terrible date with a finance bro.

A while ago, there was a Reddit thread on how I was a bitch, and for some reason that gave me a huge ego boost. Just misogynistic men with nothing better to do than hate on me. I loved it. They sent traffic to my page and I made money off their rage.

Q: What pieces are you most proud of writing and why? (feel free to share a link)

Any of my six books: here

But Illegals has a special place in my heart. It’s about Americans living illegally in Costa Rica. People overlook the fact that a lot of expat towns are really clusters of Americans living in another country illegally. It shocks them. And it is super fun to write about.

And if you want to hire me or check out free links to my articles, I have a Ko-Fi:

https://ko-fi.com/lisamartens

When I’m working in Costa Rica, I’m usually staying at my family’s place. We have great WiFi now! Come visit me:

www.normasvillas.com